Sneaky commie president plot discovered: ‘kill’ the system

Rep. Pete Sessions, head of the House Republican committee tasked with electing more GOP members, has a unique theory as to why unemployment continues to rise: Obama wants to wipe out capitalism.

Deep into a New York Times item Monday about rising jobless numbers comes a theory that the Times gently refers to as an “argument” that “may indeed face an uphill fight.”

Sessions told the Times that Obama’s plan is to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices.” By doing so, Obama “intended to inflict damage and hardship on the free enterprise system, if not to kill it” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.

The Times then follows with another understated gem: “Polls offer little evidence that Americans are prepared to accept those arguments.”

Obama angled this whole thing? Can somebody e-mail James Bond?