The President’s ‘Animal Farm’ is Chris Matthews, Jim Jones and the Manson Family

Poor kid, it’s not like he’s had plenty of time to think about Orwell’s little classic. Or has he never read it, and he just wants to point out that he’s not talking about crops? I don’t know, I’m confused by this thing–he doesn’t seem to understand in the least how to make one thing or idea stand in for another for more than a couple of seconds.

The kid actually writes better than his pal Warner Todd Huston, but takes a foolhardy stab at a ‘metaphor’ in starting with the idea that the mainstream media are Obama’s ‘animal farm’.

Feel free to argue with me, but wasn’t the famous book an allegory of how the power-hungry use ‘utopian’ politics to their own greedy ends? AKA ‘Stalinism is Bad’?

Aw, nevermind–Hartsock just seems to think that the media are a bunch of animals, and the president’s a farmer. Get it?

The Obama animal farm

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews once vented to Don Imus his cumulative frustration with presidents who own ranches, huffing: “I want a guy to run for President who doesn’t have a f**king — I’m sorry, a ranch. Wouldn’t that be good, Don, a guy who wasn’t on the ranch during Katrina, he was on the street corner answering questions?” To which Imus replied, “Why are you swearing?”

To Matthews’ credit, virtually every modern president has laid claim to a ranch — even including the current guy who was on the street corner begging for “change.” There was the Reagan Ranch in Santa Barbara, Bush’s Crawford Ranch in West Texas, and Barack Obama’s relatively new, more sprawling cattle ranch — most commonly referred to as the “mainstream media.”

Now why couldn’t he have just called it ‘The Obama cattle ranch’? With the dumb media as cows, right?

One would think Matthews’ irritations would have doubled rather than subsided — if only he weren’t himself one of the ranch hands delivering the Kool-Aid-flavored milk to a mouth-watered public via the airwaves of the establishment news media.

Matthews is not one of Obama’s cows but a ranch hand? The ‘public’ are now the animals, and they drink ‘Kool-Aid flavored milk’? It’s a Fellini farm apparently. Ooookay.

Moreover, Obama’s ranch bears less resemblance to the aforementioned presidential ranches, and is more reminiscent of the Jonestown farm or the Spahn Movie Ranch.

Jonestown did have a farm (“Peoples Temple Agricultural Project”), but that was pretty boring. The Temple, however, was a dangerous and psychotic place, with the megalomaniac Jim Jones the center of the show, eventually urging his cultists to kill themselves. In your ever-nebulous morphing metaphor, it’s now unclear whether the administration or the media are the Kool-Aid cows.

And hay-zeus the Spahn Movie Ranch–really? Another cool metaphor eh, Christian? The ‘animals’ being the Manson Family I presume who lived there while one of the members acted as a sex-slave for the owner. What’s your point? Quick – Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theater, which MSNBC anchor is the bullet in Booth’s gun? Which trumped-up issue is ‘Our American Cousin‘?

In addition, the winged creatures of Obama’s farm are mostly tropical — bearing stark resemblance to the exotic parrot what with their impulsive, redundant utterances of rhetorical talking points that are conveniently proportionate to the standard 3.5″ x 11″ bumper sticker format…

Next: The dark prescience of the Brothers Grimm.