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Jul 11, 2009 
But let’s first agree that nobody is better at this sport than the proprietor of Whiskey Fire. Thers, you are a tower. And I assume you are composed of meaty metal struts. Or composting the vogues of meaty metal sluts.
Either way, you’re Big in the book.
And speaking of the opposite, the brain of Ann Althouse is difficult to find, and yet it continues to operate. Like an electron, with a scalpel.
Here begins the flummox:
Here follows the brrrzxghreitz of the fe-lummox:
What Republican Senator had his hand on David Brooks’s inner thigh through an entire dinner?
–Ah, she too has decided to dig into the mystery of the Freakish Senator who mildly accosted Brooks one night. I’m very slightly wondering about it myself.
Brooks is talking on MSNBC — video at the link — and says:
You know, all three of us spend a lot of time covering politicians and I don’t know about you guys, but in my view, they’re all emotional freaks of one sort or another. They’re guaranteed to invade your personal space, touch you. I sat next to a Republican senator once at dinner and he had his hand on my inner thigh the whole time. I was like, ehh, get me out of here….
I’m not telling you, I’m not telling you. But so, a lot of them spend so much time needing people’s love and yet they are shooting upwards their whole life, they’re not that great in normal human relationships. And so, they’re like freaks, they don’t know how to, they’re lonely. They reach out….
What!?
–Whoops. She doesn’t give a fuck about who did it and thinks Brooks is the weirdo. Boing, huge surprise.
Perhaps the Republican Senator just periodically patted him on the thigh and technically the fingers extended into the inner part.
–Well, Brooks’ reporting has always stunk. No reason to believe he’ll relay his own flesh’s hair-raising sensory information with any accuracy. Borrowing Althouse’s brain, David would have perceived an old guy periodically grabbing his thigh under the table as ‘goochy-goo’. But only if he solved the Vexing Breathing Paradox.
The fact that Brooks put up with it, to me, indicates that was all it was.
–’…that was all it was’? Nice writing, and analysis. Brooks has probably been a political junkie all his life and likely knew exactly who the iconic celebrity Senator was way back when he was, oh, 15 years old. To sit next to the guy, and then to be felt up like that, was probably a brain-freezer. If you sat me next to Jimmy Page at a rock ‘n roll fundraiser and he clamped my knee, I might turn to shale.
Why would he just think I was like, ehh, get me out of here. What stopped him from leaving? Or are we seriously to think some Senator had Brooks in an intimate grip all night and Brooks did nothing but think about how he didn’t like it?
That’d be bizarre. Even note-worthy.
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