Hot Air’s Doctor Zero rips Peggy Noonan–she’s stupid, can’t write or punctuate. Doctor Zero is stupid, can’t write or punctuate.

The only reason that this post will even exist is that I was curious as to how a Conservative would tear into the treacly right-winger, Peggy ‘dolphins!’ Noonan.

I began to read the post and thought ‘this guy could use an editor.’ And then he teed off on Peggy (and the New York Times) for being stupid because genius mistakenly thought her columns were obviously mangled piles of writing.

That was too much to resist:
A Seemingly Very Nice Middle-Class Girl
posted at 11:00 am on July 11, 2009 by Doctor Zero

Peggy Noonan used her Friday column in the Wall Street Journal to throw some dirt on Sarah Palin’s grave. It’s vintage Noonan: airheaded, dripping with condescension, and completely missing the point. No serious conservative needs to hear anything from Noonan except her groveling apology for being so horribly wrong about Barack Obama, who she energetically supported for president.

‘…whom she energetically supported for president.’

However, it’s worth picking through the flotsam and jetsam of this embarrassing column, to appreciate the kind of intellectual fat that conservatives need to trim from the Republican Party.

Comma after ‘column’? Is this ‘style’? Because it looks dumb.

Let’s begin by setting the stage: Sarah Palin resigned her governorship last week, and has no stated plans to run for elective office as of this writing.

No comma after ‘week’, moron. It’s a parallel construction. A bad one.

She has made it clear that she intends to remain on the public stage, and has a bright and useful future of public speaking, writing, and helping her party raise funds for 2010 and beyond.

No comma after ‘stage’, another parallel construction.

I personally disagree with the assessment that her resignation killed her political future, if she wants one. It will be an obstacle for her to work around, but I think she could overcome it – especially if Alaskans are clearly pleased with her successor, and think well of her as the 2012 elections get under way.

No comma after ‘successor’, parallel construction again.

After referencing the way “The left and the media immediately overplayed their hand, with attacks on her children,” Noonan says of Palin:

She went on the trail a sensation but demonstrated in the ensuing months that she was not ready to go national and in fact never would be. She was hungry, loved politics, had charm and energy, loved walking onto the stage, waving and doing the stump speech. All good. But she was not thoughtful. She was a gifted retail politician who displayed the disadvantages of being born into a point of view (in her case a form of conservatism; elsewhere and in other circumstances, it could have been a form of liberalism) and swallowing it whole: She never learned how the other sides think, or why.

I always thought the Wall Street Journal had editors that would review columns to make sure they don’t have annoying run-on sentences that don’t use commas but maybe they don’t and never will.

Nice run-on sentence dismissing howling imbeciles and their run-on sentences, dumbfuck: a comma is required after ‘commas’. There are no Noonan run-on sentences there, comma witch. You are a fucking idiot. And this weapon: ‘…to make sure they don’t have annoying run-on sentences that don’t use commas…’ doesn’t require ‘that don’t use commas‘.  It’s like saying ‘blind people that don’t see.’ Back to the Doc Zero seminar:

Poor sentence construction aside, Noonan couldn’t be more wrong to say Palin’s point of view “could have been a form of liberalism.”

Why the hell are we bothering with you? Oh, I remember–you’re a retard pedant. By all means, continue:

He climbed steep stairs, born off the continent with no father to guide, a dreamy, abandoning mother, mixed race, no connections. He rose with guts and gifts. He is steady, calm, and, in terms of the execution of his political ascent, still the primary and almost only area in which his executive abilities can be discerned, he shows good judgment in terms of whom to hire and consult, what steps to take and moves to make.

…Granted that the older column I quoted above was written a couple trillion wasted tax dollars ago, before the advent of Turbo Tax Tim and the rest of Obama’s Epic Fail Cabinet, but you still have to love the way Noonan celebrated Obama’s “good judgement in terms of who to hire and consult.” He sure knew how to pick a spiritual advisor, that’s for sure! If only Sarah Palin could have the good judgement to consult with aging hippie radical terrorists, Peggy might finally admire her for something more than being “a very nice middle-class girl with ambition, appetite and no sense of personal limits.” By the way, Noonan delivers this backhanded compliment immediately after the paragraph where she declares Palin’s middle-classness to be a fraud.

He lifts and rips a Noonan quote but goes out of his way to misspell ‘judgment‘? Bill Buckley would not approve.

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