You may think he’s just a rock-brained dinosaur, but he’s got future vision. He can see the whole impact/conflagration/mass extinction thing coming–which of our current dinosaur friends can say they called the last one? Hmm?
The playful Raptors that sit in the trees and eye you outside your kitchen window? The impish Pterodactyls that poach your pets, hacking pelt as they fly off? (You had put a tracking device on Frisky, you say? RING. ‘Yeah, Lt. Sanchez here, Feline Theft. About Frisky. Lo-Jack says she just landed on the helipad at The Bonaventure.’) Your kid’s pet Coelacanth? I don’t think so. (And, I might add–and I will, just watch–I am mightily impressed by the 10,000 foot high salt water aquarium you assembled for Samantha.)
And who of them were smart enough to put forth this logic: ‘Since there’s a chance we’re about to get flattened, you Global Warming worriers are idiots.’ Err, yeah, why worry about two things when you’d rather worry about one? The one that hasn’t yet begun and hasn’t occurred in…heck, I don’t even remember?
Goldberg’s reasoning is confusing. ‘Why fight your cancer when you could die in a car accident?’ I do admit, dinosaurs surely were not able to think like that. For that, you need a ‘Conservative Intellectual’:
Planet Bull’s Eye
Jonah Goldberg | July 29 2009
The year is 2109. Celebrations continue as mankind’s heroic, century-long, quintillion-dollar effort to lower the global mean temperature by 1 degree has paid off: July 2109 is just as hot as July 2009. Few can contain their jubilation.
This is Jonah’s version of mockery, he would prefer we did absolutely nothing about Global Warming. Now re-read that paragraph and laugh, laugh, laugh.
But even as the carbon-neutral champagne corks fly, the sky darkens. A projectile of a different kind is coming our way. An asteroid streaks across the skies, giving the media just enough time to spread the word. The New York Times, now beamed directly into subscribers’ brains via digital-neural networks, fulfills ancient prophecy and warns that women and minorities will be hardest hit by the incoming object.
But there’s little we can do. The space flotsam smashes into the solar energy farm formerly known as Arizona. The space rock, 100 meters in diameter, hits at 50,000 mph with the force of thousands of nuclear warheads.
Yes, the ’100 meter space rock’ flying at 50,000 mph would surely loom and darken all the Earth’s skies……with its considerable bad attitude, presumably, utterly opaque and thousands of miles wide. And towing a jet black tattoo the size of the Sun that says ‘Born to Extinctivate’.
Millions die. Dust and debris blot out the sun and will chill the planet for years. Crops fail, billions starve. The heat of impact releases torrents of nitrous and nitric acid rain.
So horrendous is the calamity that some even wonder if the enormous investment in fending off climate change might not have been better spent.
Well, since the extent of the threats are almost frighteningly the same, no. But go on anyways:
…Scientists think there are millions of such “small” near-Earth meteors out there, and more than 1,000 that are at least a kilometer wide. Those are the ones that really leave a mark. Just ask the dinosaurs. And we’re discovering more every day.
A few years ago, a book titled “The Black Swan” came out. No, it’s not about swans singled out by the Cambridge Police Department for breaking into their own roosts, but about sudden, unpredictable events occurring far more often than we’d like to think. There are flocks of black swans out there, but we find it discomfiting to contemplate their existence.
In 2008, science writer Gregg Easterbrook surveyed preparedness for a “space-object strike” for the Atlantic magazine. He found that even though serious experts believe there’s as much as a 1-in-10 chance of a significant Earth strike within the next century, NASA doesn’t much care.
First, everybody knows Easterbrook is a complete idiot. Second, even folks who have no science background can probably figure out that the sort of Goldberg-type impact where ‘millions die’ and ‘billions starve’ ain’t remotely a 1-in-10, or we would have seen it during the last couple thousand years. Third, for those of you who take Jonah too seriously: no, there is no greater impact threat today than 10,000 years ago, meteors come and go all the same. Fourth, Global Warming is a current disaster. Montana’s beautiful ‘Glacier Park’ will soon have absolutely no glaciers.
…It makes you wonder. For all the rush and panic, the truth is, climate change — if real — is a very slow-moving catastrophe. Moreover, it happens to align with an ideological and political agenda the left has been pushing for generations: Unregulated economic growth is bad and must be controlled by experts; nature is our master, and we must be her servants. What a convenient truth for environmentalists.
Meanwhile, a “deep impact” is a terribly inconvenient threat, partly because it requires making peace with the idea that nature can be conquered.
Better to not even think about it.
Don’t buy this shit–Goldberg doesn’t think about it at all. His game here is obvious–point out the ‘misplaced’ worrying over one by accentuating the relatively greater threat of the other. It’s both stupid and shallow: the relative threat is totally backward, and he doesn’t give a fuck about either one, and he never will. I’m not shocking anyone by saying you’ll never see him (again?) advocate taking the ‘meteor threat’ seriously.
He doesn’t take anything stinking of predictive science seriously unless it conveniently supports a corporatist agenda, falls in line with Conservative dogma, or demands that we go to war immediately. That is: unless it subjugates consumers, subjugates political enemies, or subjugates foreign unknowns. And with those drives, he’s sure to miss what could be real threats to all of humanity (like these two) which accumulate as our collective technology and intelligence progress. Of course, when nothing of interest exists outside of inter-class and inter-national war, what do you expect?
Which puts him in a peculiar state: being smart enough to comprehend the forewarnings of a cataclysmic danger, but doing exactly the same thing the dinosaurs did about it. Much more primitive than evolutionary ‘smarts’ should dictate. In a familiar embodiment, a ‘Conservative Intellectual.’ Always cold-blooded, to boot.