Nothing more than a parody: “Tonight…We Are All Alec Baldwin”

Tonight . . .>We Are All Alec Baldwin

Earlier, as most of you now know, one of our own, Alexander Rae Baldwin III, while taking withering fire, crashed and burned.

Tonight, Alec is no longer ‘just’ a father.

Tonight, Alec is no longer ‘just’ an actor.

Tonight, Alec is us. And we are him.

Tonight Alec became the metaphor for all of us. . .every man, woman and child in this great nation of ours even though, yes, I know, metaphors aren’t people standing in for other people.

The enemy of this great nation, the enemy of you and me, Alec’s enemy. . .those on the right, inside and outside of this nation abhor success. . .and when faced with it will destroy it. . .by any and all means possible. By churlish means like. . .’quotes.’ And slippery knives. . .like. . .’verbatim.’

We all have our dreams in life. . .such as they might be. Alec dreamed of being a strong, capable father for his family. Alec dreamed of having a daughter who would only love him. And if she didn’t love him, Alec dreamed of getting on a plane and straightening her ass out, little pig.

But tonight the Conservatives proved that they will stop at nothing to end our dreams. Our dreams of success and happiness devastate their need to dominate and control you and me. . .and, well, everything and everyone:

–G.E. Executives





–Jack Lemon

–Crazy Ivan

The right can not and will not allow anyone to realize their dreams.

So tonight we are under withering fire, we liberals. . .

Tonight a fire went out. . .a dream died. . .

This tonight, withering with fire, our values, those thoughts, ideas and dreams that, in the sinew-ed crucible of the roan’s fiery withers, under fire, yes, with Mr. Smithers’ livers firing lead-jacketed zithers hither and yeeeeeoow, made this great nation, now lie uncertainly, under blue blithers, of flame.

So whither us, and your damned azure fire, my friends?

Will your light of your dreams be next? Will my dreams be next? Won’t you light my dreams?

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out–because I was not a communist;

Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out–because I was not a socialist, although I must admit they do have some cool ideas;

Then they came for the abusers, and I did not speak out–but, c’mon, kids these days, goddamn!;

Then they came for the alcoholics, and I did not speak out–coupla things bugging me, the usual stuff, they tell me I’m really just self-medicating;

Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me, or to protect me, I have, like, no boundaries, you know? You never really loved me–won’t even answer my call–you’re such a pig.

– Pastor Martin PreMolar

Not tonight, no. Tonight. . .We Are All Alec Baldwin.