Chuck Norris kicks it dolt school

Aaaannd now America’s Patriots everywhere turn to a substantive figure. Because they need a horse’s ass justification for sweeping and likely reverberating paleo-conservative textbook revisions prescribed by the Texas State Board of Education. To find that whopping intellectual, let Republicans look no further than an Arctic-faced T.V. Ranger famous for kicking things that annoy him:

Don’t Mess With Texas… Textbooks!
by Chuck Norris

…For those who somehow have dodged the news, the 15-member Texas State Board of Education, which is composed of 10 Republicans and five Democrats, has been hearing and debating variances of opinion regarding what to include and exclude in its social studies curriculum and subsequent textbooks…

Not surprising is the full range of progressive issues that liberals want the SBOE to include, from emphasizing equity and tolerance for all minorities to erasing key conservative figures and events from history and whitewashing the Judeo-Christian convictions of our Founders.

chuckUnfortunately Professor Norris never noted a more obvious and successful attempt at “whitewashing“, by that same heroic State Board…

Numerous attempts to add the names or references to important Hispanics throughout history also were denied, inducing one amendment that would specify that Tejanos died at the Alamo alongside Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie. Another amendment deleted a requirement that sociology students “explain how institutional racism is evident in American society.”

Somehow, Chuck missed those racial low-lights. Perhaps he was busy kicking a copy of “Watership Down” at the library (the good rabbits — they’re individualists throwing off the chains of socialism?)

The remains of Norris’ two-dimensional crap qualify as a classic example of wingnuts projecting to cover their tracks. To wit: when you’re a bug-eyed revisionist, everybody else is bug-eyed and revisionist. When you’re a whitewasher, the liberals whitewash everything. When you’re trying to recast history to deify your dirty faith, how do liberals justify attacking religious freedom?

“Religion,” [Mary Helen] Berlanga said. “Everything was about Religion. There was one [amendment] that said Battle of San Jacinto gave religious freedom. And one lady in the audience came up to me later and said ‘religious freedom? That’s when the Texas Rangers began hanging the Hispanics.”

Berlanga bailed.

“I’ve had it. This is it. I’m leaving for the evening,” Berlanga said. “The board is pretending this is white America, Hispanics don’t exist. I’ve never seen a rewrite like this. This is a step backwards.”

(Berlanga left in response to a claim by Leo that stereotyping is “sometimes it’s a positive thing.”)

The Great American School Board’s positive view of racism went unrecognized by Chuck, too. He was returning the remains of Richard Adams’ cryptic warren manifesto when a corner of the (Marxist) Reference Desk bolted across the rug and fanged his knee. The Desk received a complete crap-kicking. Now intellectually engaged, Chuck head-butted the plants who, typical of bullies challenged, offered paltry resistance.

Ah, but he remembers he thinks this:

chuck also…Liberals and progressives complain that conservatives are hijacking the curriculum process and modifying textbooks to fit their ideological whims. But the history of textbook alterations clearly has proved it is the liberals who have changed the course and content of curricula and textbook production. Conservatives have been largely the guardians or preservationists of tradition…

He offers the radical revision is due to “preservationists”? To the pretend Ranger detective, this sniffs nothing of “modifying textbooks to fit their ideological whims”?

Last Thursday, a discussion arose over how to describe the United States’ economy:

Scholars on the curriculum teams had argued that “capitalism” and “free market” are commonly used terms in economics courses and everyday discourse…

Terri Leo (R- Spring): “I do think words mean things. . . . I see no reason, frankly, to compromise with liberal professors from academia.” . .

After the discussion, the board voted to strike all instances of “capitalism” from the state’s curriculum.

Because the word smacks of leftist hooey? Imagine now American History without a mention of “capitalism.” Imagine going to the index and running your finger down the “C” page to find nothing between capita, per and capitals. I can’t imagine it. Has there ever been an American History schoolbook like this Texas one? I don’t imagine that either.

I guess it’s Norris time to write the first American History textbook ever. Just now. Well, hey, thank you “guardians . . of tradition”. And thank Texas that someone is finally protecting the kids from all that previous mumbo-jumbo. Because I also can’t imagine what sort of country we’d end up living in should we mention a post-modern gadfly like Thomas Jefferson:

The Board removed Thomas Jefferson from the Texas curriculum, “replacing him with religious right icon John Calvin.”

…whut?

Texas School Board Votes to Remove Thomas Jefferson from Curriculum

From the Texas Freedom Network, live blogging the deliberations of the Texas Board of Education: . .

“9:40 – We’re just picking ourselves up off the floor. The board’s far-right faction has spent months now proclaiming the importance of emphasizing America’s exceptionalism in social studies classrooms. But today they voted to remove one of the greatest of America’s Founders, Thomas Jefferson, from a standard about the influence of great political philosophers on political revolutions from 1750 to today.”

Other than, like, the Declaration of Independence,chuck again what did dude do? ??? Virtually every other modern western country’s history books will speak, glowingly, of Thomas Jefferson, but phooey that. The christianist Texans have got an iron grasp on what’s American and Historic.

Which returns us to Chuck. His iron grasp has splintered a computer stand that wandered too near for his liking, but he’s fine, he’s okay. He remains winded but unbowed by the insults of crippling stupidity that humble all of us, the lesser men. He feels conservatives, like him, must fight against the universal and conspiratorial forces biting at their metaphorical knees. Slashing at them: the teeth of defiant, atheistic, political liberal humanists.

Chuck’s message, a classic, you might take to heart: “Bite Back.”

Get involved in local, state and national politics, and make your voice heard. The time for passivity is over. As Thomas Jefferson once said, “All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.”

HEH, oops. In the Calvinist sense, of course.

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5 thoughts Chuck Norris kicks it dolt school

  1. avatar toma says:

    hirsute cunt

  2. avatar rmf says:

    Not you, of course. Chuck.

  3. avatar toma says:

    Yes, and similarly.

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