Well, where to start with the jokes? My brain is reeling, I’m not sure where to begin. It’s like a snipe hunt, and they’re crawling all over our shoes.
. . Ted Nugent writes Time Magazine’s profile on Sarah Palin . .
Amazing. Well, the jokes have long since started of their own accord, haven’t they? Time magazine has been awful for as long as I remember, but Ted Nugent? Ted ‘dumb as a bag of oil’ Nugent? Ted ‘Hey Hillary you might wanna ride one of my machine guns into the sunset you worthless bitch’ Nugent? Ted ‘Barbara Boxer she might wanna suck on my machine gun’ Nugent? Ted ‘Dianne Feinstein ride one of these you worthless whore’ Nugent? What, Time Magazine couldn’t find anyone more repugnant than Nugent to offer an opinion on a well-known woman?
The mainstream media continue to embrace their inner populist thug for the purposes of sales and ratings, Rush Limbaugh wins again. Back when I was a kid, when my Dad used to get Time Magazine by subscription, I can’t imagine they’d have asked Paul Stanley to write about Betty Ford. Or . . well . . Ted Nugent to write anything ever. They’d have more likely joked that the ‘Motor City Madman’ was an unlikely candidate for literacy.
The world has changed, and what qualifies for mainstream ‘discourse’ no longer does so by minimal standards of intelligence or civility. It is mainstream because it is the main stream: if attracts the most eyes and ears, and that is all. So if you’re a lucky, well-paid main-streamer, it means that you can bring the heat. No different than porn, really, you can get the ‘clicks’.
Here, three attention whores conspire together to spunky-charm their way into your hearts, like the worms that rot your typical mangy mutt to death from the inside:
By Ted Nugent
Thursday, Apr. 29, 2010
If Sarah Palin played a loud, grinding instrument, she would be in my band. The independent patriotic spirit, attitude and soul of our forefathers are alive and well in Sarah. In the way she lives, what she says and how she dedicates herself to make America better in these interesting times, she represents the good, while exposing the bad and ugly. She embraces the critical duty of we the people by participating in this glorious experiment in self-government. The tsunami of support proves that Sarah, 46, represents what many Americans know to be common and sensible. Her rugged individualism, self-reliance and a herculean work ethic resonate now more than ever in a country spinning away from these basics that made the U.S.A. the last best place. We who are driven to be assets to our families, communities and our beloved country connect with the principles that Sarah Palin embodies. We know that bureaucrats and, even more, Fedzilla, are not the solution; they are the problem. I’d be proud to share a moose-barbecue campfire with the Palin family anytime, so long as I can shoot the moose.
Nugent is an author, activist and rock-‘n’-roll legend
ADD: Of course, it turns out that Sarah Palin has written the Time Magazine ‘Leader’ profile for . . Glenn Beck.
Who’d have thought a history buff with a quirky sense of humor and a chalkboard could make for such riveting television? Glenn’s like the high school government teacher so many wish they’d had, charting and connecting ideas with chalk-dusted fingers — kicking it old school — instead of becoming just another talking-heads show host . .
. . imagine, say, 20,000 Glenn Becks unleashed on unsuspecting high school History classes across America; we’d never again be able to agree on anything that ever happened five minutes ago.
Like I said, our ‘mainstream media’ thing is nothing more than a proud and public circle jerk. Next up: Glenn Beck does Tea Party maestro Dick Armey, and then he introduces Ted Nugent, cue Elton John. And then the San Diego Chicken profiles Joe the Camel. See? Don’t pretend you don’t know who they are . .