Thank God for the pill and for these hilarious Christians who hate it

These dinosaurs are funny. There’s just no way you’re going to convince the world that The Pill is some evil thing, but they sure will try. And, at least in doing so, they will provide us with a few yukks.

May 9, 2010

Has ‘the pill’ caused drive-by shootings?
By Matt C. Abbott

See? They’re already hilarious. Just how many sex jokes can you think of for that title? Must be dozens. Naw it pretty much put an end to that. Or heck — you should see the drive-in. Why doesn’t this website have an editor? One who was born after Pearl Harbor?

matt cBut May’s fondness for the pill — actually, she seems fonder of the morally bankrupt Margaret Sanger than of the pill itself — is not shared by a number of women, including Chicagoan Eleanore Veronika Strong.

“It always strikes me as ironic when self-proclaimed feminists like Elaine Tyler May tout the pill as assisting women’s liberation because it does not require a man’s cooperation or knowledge,” Strong said in an e-mail. “Why would a truly empowered woman want to be with a man who is not mature enough to discuss their sexual relationship and to act in a way that is respectful of both partners’ needs?

I’m completely drawing a blank here. What are ‘both partners’ needs’? She wants to have sex, she doesn’t want to produce a pregnancy, so she takes the pill. What’s the problem? What am I missing? Does anyone here speak 19th Century Christian?

“Moreover, why would she further enable such a man’s behavior by ingesting hormones to suppress her body’s natural functioning so that she can be sexually available to him with no investment or responsibility required on his part?

Great GOOGLY MOOGLY. Strong sees men as cardboard cutouts, sexually obsessed, shallow and abusive. I guess women would then be pathetic, needy and lonely in her eyes. What a wonderful world. What a wonderful God who made these wonderful people.

She also advocates the use of natural family planning for married couples, which the Church approves. “If a couple has discerned that they have a serious reason to avoid conception, periodic abstinence during the woman’s fertile periods is a beautiful way for a man to demonstrate restraint, maturity, and ultimately love for his partner.”

the-pillDon’t you just love sex advice straight out of The Farmer’s Almanac? ‘Animal Husbandry and the Single Woman’ anyone? When should we ‘plant the rye’, so to speak? I have no idea what I just said. I feel like I’m eavesdropping on a foreign planet.

Dawn Eden, author of The Thrill of the Chaste, also doesn’t agree with May’s assertions regarding the pill.

Holy MACKEREL.You can also buy her two other titles, Tension: Nobody’s Friend and Macrame For Me! at “ZZZZ Books”.

“Clearly, from the point of view of general trends, the pill’s enabling women to have fewer children does not make for ‘better’ motherhood, if ‘better’ means happier. Nor can it be said to make for better mothers from the child’s point of view, since using contraception makes it easier for women to commit adultery.

WOW, these people are crazy. These are horrible arguments.

In fact, [May] shows no visible concern for children’s well-being at all — which isn’t surprising, given what she’s pushing. By encouraging a culture of radical individualism that treats children as accessories, the pill has created a generation of ‘wire monkey’ mothers.”

Great, now I have to look up the ‘wire monkey‘ thing. Oh, wonderful, she’s likening modern women to lifeless wire mannequins. Okay, now I’m pissed, these people are asses.

And then the article goes on to quote at length E. Michael Jones, a guy who claims to know that Jews are outsiders and radicals to God and Christianity. “The ideology is totally wicked,” quote unquote. Alright, that’s enough of this crap.