86 year-old Gurley Martin is one crazy old Kentucky cracker

Ran across this guy on Wonkette. He is an actual Republican Senate candidate in Kentucky, so his dreams are being shattered as we speak.

His name is Gurley L. Martin and he has plenty of stuff to tell you. So there’s his website, where his 3 page ‘Intent to File’ paperwork is chocked full of dust-and-cobweb crazy things. Like how America ran off the rails . . back in 1928 (he remembers). He also says that any legislation that fills more than 46 pages of 8.5 by 11 inch paper (12 point font type) should be deemed unacceptable and unconstitutional. And, of course, he says Obama is not the legit Commander in Chief: “Note this: there R more of US, than there IS of U! U will C — hoping 4 changein U!” Or something like that, it’s not easy to transcribe musty whackadoodle. There’s more of that in his handbills, if you care to look.

But the clips are the thing. At some point, Kentuckians actually got a few of the candidates together at a small forum where they took turns answering questions, or some such silly thing. This first one, Gurley recalls a “rape — ist” getting hanged in 11,000 B.C. And . . he wasn’t even black. Which, of course, means that it’s the black candidate’s turn to come to the podium:

Wow indeed. The other candidates presumably answered nonsense with nonsense and then moved on to the next question. His turn again, Gurley gets back up and returns to what now appears to be his earliest and fondest memory, the execution. Oh, and incidentally, he likes women and cars, but, no, he’s neither raped nor stolen any of them. To which, as if to answer the call of the loneliest whip-poor-will, a single person applauds. Then he gives a shout out to Go-Daddy (seriously), says “nookyooluss”, and then, having announced that he’s going to trounce everybody, turns around to stare down his lesser foes, arms outstretched, like . . “EAT IT BITCHEZ.” Here:


There is also a less triumphant version of Gurley as well. Here‘s a video where a real, serious debate between the Senate candidates gets underway and state troopers have to haul the old coot off. “MY NAME IS GURLEY MARTIN!!

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