Young Americans shouldn’t be insured because of Michael Barone’s daddy complex

The price of perpetual adolescence
By: Michael Barone | Senior Political Analyst

. . which got me thinking about the much ballyhooed provision of the Obamacare bill that allows parents to include “children” up to age 26 in their family health insurance policies. This is said to be wildly popular among the Millennial Generation, those born after 1980.

I think it’s appalling, on several grounds . .

It insures uninsured Americans in their twenties. That’s appalling to you guys, we already know that.

. . people aged 26 are not “children,” . .

Fuck young adults with crappy jobs and slender incomes. Yeah, yeah, got that.

. . they for the most part don’t have substantial health care expenses (aside from pregnancies and births) and they should not be encouraged to remain dependent on parents for extended periods.

Huh? These people are the golden group, insurance-wise. Nobody is cheaper to cover — you yourself pointed that out, Barone. So why does it torture you that their parents now can elect to continue to cover them without interference? I know if I had a kid in graduate school, it would be a wise, humane and cheap thing to do.

In that spirit, let me suggest that the Obamacare bureaucrats, in order to hold down health care expenses, may have to set some terms and conditions for “children” aged 21 to 26 who remain on their parents’ health insurance policies.

Late night activities can result in increased rates of accidents and unplanned pregnancies, so they may be required to be home by 10:30 on weeknights and midnight on weekends.

OH HO! Aren’t you sneaky? And funny?

Extended periods of idleness and physical inactivity can promote obesity and attendant health care problems, so they may be required to do household chores including laundry, window washing, lawn mowing and cleaning out the garage.

No you’re not. But I think I see where you’re going. This is the sort of shit your asshole alcoholic Dad pulled on you, Michael. And, gee, don’t you miss him? Ah, bitter memories. You sure had some nasty run-ins with him, but all tolled wasn’t he . . pretty much right about the world? *cough*

Substantial alcohol consumption and tobacco use, not to mention the use of controlled substances, can cause expensive health care problems, so they may be required to submit to laws on alcohol and tobacco use otherwise applicable only to those under age 21.

Nope he was just another drunk. And haven’t you already stated that twenty-somethings don’t have pressing health crises? Or is there some post-collegial prostate cancer epidemic I missed?

And given the concerns about brain damage from excessive cellphone use, they may be subject to limits on the number of minutes they can talk each day.

Oh right, remember this?

“MICHAEL, YOU LITTLE SHIT, GET OFF THE PHONE ALREADY.”

“FUCK YOU DAD.” *click*

*feet coming up the stairs*

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