ESPN! Mooga! Woman! Smash!

We’re gettin’ killed here, Charlie. Our backs are up against the wall — and why won’t ESPN do anything about it? Don’t they give a damn, can’t they see?

This is precious:

ESPN to Men: ‘No Man, No Problem’
ESPN is the new Democratic Party, and female privilege is the new equality.
by Bernard Chapin | January 22, 2011 | Pajamas Media

. . ESPN is as cozy with PC as feminists are with the WNBA. Since the autumn of 2003, when the net-work set up and humil-iated Rush Limbaugh, watching the 24/7 sports channel has been a conflicted pleasure for conservatives.

On the very day the channel rendered Rush anathema, another employee smeared Caucasian Americans by suggesting that we wanted to see Tyrone Willingham fired from Notre Dame due to his being black.

Bernie: “Unlike Limbaugh, what Paolantonio said was truly racist.” But I can’t find the quote. Bernie, himself, won’t even print it. Hypersensitive, Bernie? Just wait, he’s barely begun:

. . the cable channel followed up on its previous egregious treatment of Reynolds by terminating the contract of another baseball analyst, Steve Phillips. Mr. Phillips cheated on his wife with a psycho production assistant. Admittedly, his decision-making and choice of concubines was far from sound, but the weirdness that occurred post-coitus had nothing to do with him.

Women! Psycho sluts — NOT OUR FAULT PEOPLE.

Holding men to a higher standard — while trumpeting the manufactured illusion of female superiority — is an integral component of PC. Its philosophical line: women good, men bad. It must be that way … in the name of equality.

In the advent of a dispute between a particular man and woman, presumption favors the woman. Despite society’s blatant tilting of the gender playing field, articles consistently announce how superfluous men are to society. Indeed, we approach “the end of men.” Alas, no end to female privilege is in sight.

One pictures Bernie in thoughtful repose over the trickier parts of his essay, glasses atop his head, hand under his chin, and lumbering to and fro like a silverback gorilla. “And right here, shall I mention ‘the end of men’?” *stop* “Hmmm.” *DESK SMASH* “Yes. Yes I shall.”

Interestingly enough, no misandrists in the press attribute the recent successes of women to predatory anti-male sexual harassment laws or state-sponsored employment discri-mination against men. In 2011, a sane man who asks women out at work or verbal-ly spars with them is a man who won the lotto the day before.

If women are humanity’s “sacred band,” it’s rather puzzling that the Leviathan automatically caters to feminists’ every demand. Gods do not normally require federal assistance … for nearly everything.

ESPN ponders no such questions.

That point needed be said. ESPN hasn’t produced a single hour of original programming on Chimpanzee Waterloo. They’ve abandoned us, their core audience. MAN, I could really go for some bananas.

During an off-the-air conversation Mr. Franklin insulted a female, fellow employee Jeannine Edwards. Purportedly, Edwards interjected herself into a conversation Franklin had with two co-workers. Franklin dismissed her input with the words, “Why don’t you leave this to the boys, sweetcakes” . . And that was that. Farewell Ron Franklin.

. . When the PC brainwashed hear a woman complain they immediately switch to termination mode. The man must be guilty. A woman never lies. Any fool who uttered the dreaded words “sweet baby” or “sweet cakes” gets relegated to the dole. A man who insults a woman — or teases her about her dress — is unemployable today.

Stop it, Bernie — you’re making me angry. YOU WOULDN”T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY. *fondle*

Franklin forgot that society is very clear on this subject. Women are noble, independent, superior beings and the hidden geniuses behind human achievement. Their works drive civilization, except for when they fail, get their feelings hurt, or desire attention. When any of those unforeseen circumstances occur one thing must be done. Find a suitable male and place blame upon him.

In short, women are masters of the universe except for in those situations when it becomes obvious that they are not. Then, the monstrous federal Leviathan will rescue them from both shame and responsibility. Should the government respond too slowly, ESPN’s fullback sweep is hunched down in a three-point stance — ever ready to plow through any obstacle set before them.