Conservatives and Comedy Autism, a special Ken Catalino edition

Been a few months since the last installment.

This would be a special edition, for a special artist. One so ignorant of the makings of comedy — timely metaphors, biting satire, keen irony . . spelling — he deserves an entire post dedicated to him alone. This is an especially autistic political cartoonist.

So, ladies and gentleman, without further ado, I bring you Ken Catalino:

A routine sin for autistics. Simply draw the person you don’t like, and then have him say something stupid. This is how 5th graders make fun of you.

And like so. Ken doesn’t yet grasp that we treat different countries differently.

Another sin. Conservatives typically deal only with other conservatives so they get lazy. Skip the pretense and get to the point – embarrass the president, will ya? Not that Obama stiffed a waiter somewhere, or anything, but I bet he could have. Since he’s just that sort of jerk.

Pat downs are for security. Taxes are for . . ummm screw it, the President sucks.

Sometimes, these things are so ‘Inside Conservative Baseball,’ you’re not even sure what’s the point. Are the winners knocking down the door? Will the door hold? Are the usual politicians safe? Damned if I know.

Try interpreting this one. Is it that conservatives are opposed to condoms? Or opposed to change? The rendition here couldn’t get any more vanilla. It’s mysterious.

This is unfortunate. Catalino can’t spell.

You’d think he’d have an editor. Or a friend with a dictionary. Somebody who can read English.

Also unfortunate. Catalino doesn’t even understand the issue. He thinks ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ protects gays. Thus, abolishing it is expanding it.

He can’t even draw a scanner. Sad.

Okay, the appetizers are done. Now we get to the meat and potatoes of wretched cartooning: Bad metaphors.

Drowning in debt and soon to reach the ceiling. Except the ceiling is also…’debt.’ Damn.

Republicans believe in ghosts. And that’s why we’re stupid.

Timing is everything. Why wouldn’t experts give Obama a ‘political’ prognosis before the election? I would think he’d be in a hospital by now, at least. I have no idea what Obama is sitting on, incidentally.

All sorts of messed up. Again, why would Democrats avoid the President after they lose? The very next day he called it a shellacking, so does Catalino even care about politics? He’s also out of gas? Democrats are going to the Olympics? How many metaphors can a man half-ass?

Take that weirdos. If I remember the story, in the end good vanquishes evil, everybody gets what they want, and the President arrives back home safe and sound. Touche, sir.

Another mixed metaphor. He’s a ‘vampire’ so he’s an ’empty suit.’ By Catalino’s trailblazing sense of comedy, he could draw that for any person or issue. Except for a vampire controversy, because then that’d be sort of funny.

Classic. Mixed up everything, with useless commentary to boot. Get rid of the thought bubble, the sign, and ‘DEMS,’ and you’ve got a perfectly good cartoon.

The president, who is driving, is yelling at ‘spending’ to, um, turn the truck around. If you don’t get this, see a psychologist.

And finally . . this. Let’s see…the Democrats have chainsawed the Republicans’ ears. And tusks. See the dashes? But the GOP’s tax-cut bills defy gravity, or sit there, above the ground, because no explanation needed. Understand? There’s nothing I could say that could possibly make this any funnier than it already is.


2 thoughts Conservatives and Comedy Autism, a special Ken Catalino edition

  1. avatar nycgrlupstate says:

    Ty T&B. This is some of the most godawful stuff I’ve ever seen, right left or center. Usually the combinzation of crazy and violent on the right is frightening but this is a reminder of what else thay bring to the table…gross incompetence! Makes it hard to imagine them remembering which end is which on the guns they love so much.

  2. avatar toma says:

    The connection between humor and politics is clear, to me. It makes a compelling case for Conservatives/liberals being born, not made. Their brains simply can’t do it. Strangely fascinating.

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