Murderous fun with South Dakota’s citizen blastocysts

The Dakotas are at it again. A couple years ago, North Dakota’s House passed a law that gave personhood status to embryos. In its wake, I did a little number crunching to discover that North Dakota would become the premiere human factory on the planet, eclipsing Mali, Uganda and Niger.

Now, South Dakota is working on a bill that would grant citizens the right to commit homicide if someone threatens or perhaps commits felonies upon the unborn. Once again, the womb-citizen gambit:

South Dakota GOP pushes bill to legalize ‘homicide’ in defense of the unborn
Stephen C. Webster | Tuesday, February 15th | Raw Story

“Justifiable” homicide is usually claimed in self defense cases, and in particular home invasions that end up with a dead burglar . .

But in South Dakota, a group of Republican state legislators have crafted a bill that would expand the legal definition of “justifiable homicide” in a way that’s plain and unambiguous: they’re trying to legalize the murder of abortion doctors . .

It states: “Homicide is justifiable if committed by any person while resisting any attempt to murder such person, or to harm the unborn child of such person in a manner and to a degree likely to result in the death of the unborn child, or to commit any felony upon him or her, or upon or in any dwelling house in which such person is.”

This is not just a crazy law, it’s very poorly written. Sure, abortion doctors could get caught up in it — the fathers of the unborn seem to have been granted the right to kill here, too. A woman goes in the front door of a clinic, the boyfriend goes through the back door, shoots the doctor, and it’s all proper and legal.

And sure, if you’re a pregnant woman, perhaps only a few weeks pregnant (maybe nobody else in the world even knows), and your drunken boyfriend is about to hit you, you can pull out a gun and blow his brains out.

And sure, if you’re upstairs asleep, and some hooligan is committing felony vandalism upon your “dwelling house,” your boyfriend can chase the dude around with a shotgun and kill him.

But, the way it’s written, with the phrases “. . death of the unborn child, or to commit any felony upon him or her . . “ so closely juxtaposed — and with personhood the slippery slope here — would some misty-eyed judge interpret “him or her” to be the fetus?

With that interpretation, any felony committed against an unborn lump of cells becomes a potential death sentence.

Like a felony theft. So you, as the father-to-be, could buy a ridiculously expensive baby stroller as a gift for your child. And while walking out to the parking lot, you might get it ripped from your arms. South Dakota would say yes, you may pull a gun, put it in the thief’s mouth and pull the trigger.