Herman Cain and the crappy eighties bands

Herman Cain, self-titled “ABC” (A Black Conservative — clever, huh?), Republican candidate for president tanking badly in the polls long before 2012, has a gospel album.

Politicians are narcissists, what? Who said? Me. Take a listen. I just caught Herman’s “My Soul I Anchored.” It does not recall the wail of a bubonic hippo. Nope. Go on, take a listen. But if you keep a pride of lions, you’ll want to chain them to the radiator first. Or the innards of your computer box will end up in the kitty litter.

Hint: if you’re out on safari with Herman, pitch your tent out of sight. If he starts singing, the feeding frenzy will denude the savannah.

Incidentally, who is this?

No, not his name (“Matt Lewis”). I came across his column at Tucker Carlson’s second-rate fourth-tier ersatz discount blog, The Daily Callgirl. Who uses a photo like this for his column banner? Is this the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen? One molecule of light bounced off this picture and hit my eyehole, and I burst out laughing. If this guy were a character on South Park, he’d be “Derp.”


Gee, picking on someone undeserving. Oh no, no, no:

That’s his actual banner. No kidding, did not photoshop that. This is what Matt thought of Herman’s album: “This is actually pretty darn good. He has a great voice.” This is the title of Matt’s post: “Herman Cain’s gospel album hits the web, and our hearts.” Ha! No wonder he thinks Dracula on Quaaludes looks good.

Matt is begging to be made fun of. Hey — it’s The Daily Caller’s new food section:

Pet lovers get the weekend edition?