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Rep. Allen West is seriously full of shit

*holes, attack of the wuss, gays, hypocrisy, teabaggers

Did you know there hasn’t been a Black House Republican from Florida since 1876? Until Allen West got elected last November? With any luck, there won’t be another until the year A.D. Goommity Donkey Ballz.

West Invitation Stirs a Nationwide Hornets’ Nest
Jason Parsley | South Florida Gay News | August 2, 2011

A decision by the President of the Wilton Manors Business Association, Celeste Ellich, to invite Congressman Allen West to address the non-partisan group ignited a local storm of controversy… When the legislative director of the GLBT Democratic caucus, Michael Rajner, found out about West’s upcoming appearance he authored a controversial letter demanding the invitation be rescinded.

“Bullies and opportunists like West have actively worked against the advancement of social justice for GLBT-people and others,” the letter read.

West has outraged gay rights activists in the past by his divisive statements regarding his opposition to gay marriage and the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Just days before this latest controversy West said at a town hall meeting: “When you take the military and you tell it they must conform to the individual’s behavior, then it’s just a matter of time until you break down the military.”

Ain’t he cute? See the fags, they make everything about their behavior. Wanting tu-tus instead of uniforms and blow jobs from the straights. That’s them, alright. Not that they haven’t enjoyed acting more fly-right, military and macho than everybody else for the last century or so. It’s just that they’re somehow in a position to dictate to the military from now on. So, all you corn-fed country boys: down on your knees.

Doesn’t it impress you when an elected official takes a serious issue seriously? That’s West’s modus operandi. Serious Allen takes everything seriously. There are very few things he can’t so serious the shit out of that it no longer resembles any Earthly thing. Like when Rep. Wasserman-Schultz pointed out — not even by name, mind you — that a certain serious Florida person was putting his constituency in jeopardy:

The gentleman from Florida who represents thousands of Medicare beneficiaries, as do I, is supportive of this plan that would increase costs for Medicare beneficiaries. Unbelievable from a member from South Florida.

That got an appropriate response from the Representative, who veered from his initial plan to produce his standard sidearm, shove the barrel in the the enemy’s mouth and blow her brains out.

You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up . .

I am bringing your actions today to our Majority Leader and Majority Whip and from this time forward, understand that I shall defend myself forthright against your heinous characterless behavior . .

Slap the mouth off her face. That’ll stop her, the unhinged bitch. Talking politics, on the House floor, like that.

Which reminds me — politics is not West’s game. Don’t you forget it. Nope, he has no taste for it. His game: patriotism, honesty, forthrightness and sincerity. No room in his heart for the ticklefights or rhetorical nut-pinching the business gay roundforum, or whatever the hell they call themselves, engage in.

In these very tough economic times, I find it intolerable that the Florida Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Democratic Caucus would call upon a boycott to hurt small business owners trying to earn a living and only wanting to better be informed about business related issues from their Member of Congress. Clearly, we have learned who really are the intolerable individuals in South Florida.

Serious people don’t do whatever it is you’re accusing him of. Well, maybe splitting infinitives and not knowing the word ‘intolerant’ — okay, fine, that and more. But who’s a typical business genius loose in the world? Your Tea Party red-ass accustomed to snoring in desert Quonset huts.

Entrepreneurs need advice from a guy like that. They should hear about the time Allen held his handgun next to the head of an Iraqi policeman and pulled the trigger, eliciting the fake terrorist confession he was aiming for and the end of a 20 year military career he wasn’t. Denied that capitalist parable, they might go bankrupt.

But there’s a lesson for us. And it comes straight and narrow, the way only a Lt. Colonel can deliver it. When we don’t let Allen West do and say as he pleases, it’s we who suffer. It’s America who will fail.

“If it’s about the lives of my soldiers at stake, I’d go through hell with a gasoline can . . ”

Remember how the military weren’t serious about the lives of their soldiers when Allen West was? Well, that’s over. Now he’s serious about politics. So just shut the fuck up.



  1. Cheeky  •  Aug 3, 2011 @4:22 pm

    Now…that’s a really civil opinion…If you really listened to Colonel West…you would realize he is very intelligent, and 98% of his men would serve under him any time, any where,…to give you the right to spew the crap you have blathered on about above..I have many gay friends..who hate those who are evil and destructive like you…I hope you leave this great country…and perhaps go live somewhere more to your liking..perhaps Saudi? Or Iran? Russia?

  2. toma  •  Aug 3, 2011 @5:50 pm

    Poor Cheeky. Neither you nor West have ever done anything to give me the right to speak freely. This is the Fascist’s fantasy — that Muslims could stop me from speaking, or that you could, who asks me to leave my own home. Grow up and get a life. He thinks he’s a hero for using terrorist tactics in a guerrilla war. If that’s your hero, then you’re the one suited for a shithead country like Iran. Enjoy it, buddy.