Herman Cain, kidding you softly

Odd things going on in the Republican presidential campaign. Unprecedented things, I think. Michele Bachmann proposes ending both the corporate and personal income taxes. What will she be president of — memories of the United States?

I see behavior I would think disqualifies someone from the White House. How do you take a candidate seriously when they offer definitive statements or positions on important issues that amount to farcical lies?

I find it hard to accept. Perhaps I am out of the mainstream here, as far as Republicans go. Of course, you couldn’t shoot me to be a Republican.

Cain Proposes Electrified Border Fence
October 15, 2011, 5:37 pm

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain said Saturday that part of his immigration policy would be to build an electrified fence on the country’s border with Mexico that could kill people trying to enter the country illegally.

This idea from Cain doesn’t surprise me. He’s as deep as one of his pizzas. When he sees an opportunity to excite the racists, he’ll take it. I’m surprised he didn’t promise to fund ten thousand armed guard towers and a permanent helicopter gunship patrol.

The remarks, which came at two campaign rallies in Tennessee as part of a barnstorming bus tour across the state, drew loud cheers from crowds of several hundred people at each rally. At the second stop, in Harriman, Tenn., Mr. Cain added that he also would consider using military troops “with real guns and real bullets” on the border to stop illegal immigration.

I spoke too soon. He edited “with real Blackhawks.”

“It’s going to be 20 feet high. It’s going to have barbed wire on the top. It’s going to be electrified. And there’s going to be a sign on the other side saying, ‘It will kill you — Warning.’”

Obviously, appointed with bullets and high-voltage electricity, Cain’s message is: I will kill the Mexicans. No wonder the crowds are crazy for him. He’s as murderously loony as they are.

Saying that some critics have told him that his remarks about building a fence are insensitive, Mr. Cain said that the fault lies with the actions of some illegal immigrants. “It’s insensitive for them to be killing our citizens, killing our border agents,” he said. “That’s what’s insensitive. And that mess has to stop.”

There you go, that’s why he leads in the polls. He’s practicing a different kind of retail politics and making a killing doing so. He will sell you anything you want to hear. He’s the Amazon.com of the campaign.

Cain Says His Deadly Fence Plan Was ‘a Joke’
October 16, 2011, 11:40 am

“That’s a joke,” Mr. Cain told the journalist David Gregory during an appearance on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” where he was asked about the electrified fence. “That’s not a serious plan. I’ve also said America needs to get a sense of humor.”

And there’s the odd thing. Cain goes out on the campaign trail, delivers his own Meat-Lover’s solutions to America’s problems, and the crowds devour it. Hours later, he claims, “That? I was kidding.”

That plan, it was not serious. And neither was I. Herman is telling you that his posturing, not his words, will carry the vital message of his campaign. His ideas aren’t actually real, David, pay them no mind. Is this what Republicans will do from now on? Or did Calvin Coolidge bullshit his way into the White House? They’re kidding about being the “serious” party, too.

Obviously, Herman Cain isn’t worried about being labelled a con man. Maybe he knows he only has to be perceived as angry and potentially deadly to be considered serious among Conservatives. So amongst the crowds, he’s as hard as anyone. But, in person, he’s a softie, just like you. Isn’t that sweet? That he would lie to voters in order to appear so nasty demonstrates the type of gravitas Republicans are shopping for.

ADD: (Monday) If I’d have known Joe Arpaio, America’s dou-sheriff, was about to summarize my Herman Cain post with a single sentence, I could have dispensed with all that typing:

“Oh, I’m sure he was joking, but it probably means that he’s taking it serious to do something at the border and stop the illegal immigrations,” the Maricopa Country sheriff declared.

ADD: (Tuesday) Getting stranger. First . .

Halfway through the question about the electric fence, Cain butted in with “it was a joke!”

“Let me first say it was a joke, and some people don’t think that it was a good joke, and it’s probably not a joke that you’re supposed to make if you’re a presidential candidate,” Cain continued. “I apologize if it offended anyone.

. . and then . .

…however, I don’t apologize for using a combination of a fence. And it might be electrified — I’m not walking away from that,” Cain backtracked. “I just don’t want to offend anybody. It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views of that speech, but in terms of what we need to do, I fully intend to do so because I’m more sensitive to our citizens being hurt.”

If any of you are familiar with the neurological malady in play here, feel free to comment.


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