It’s chaos: Newt Gingrich wins South Carolina primary

I love it. I’m going to get sooo drunk tonight. Newt Fucking Gingrich, borderline psycho, Zeus among poodles, has just won the primary that predestines Republicans for the presidential nomination.

Gingrich storms to SC victory, scrambling GOP race

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich stormed to an upset win in the South Carolina primary Saturday night, dealing a sharp setback to former front-runner Mitt Romney and suddenly scrambling the race for the Republican presidential nomination.

“Thank you, South Carolina!” a jubilant Gingrich swiftly tweeted to his supporters . .

Caviar in root beer smothered in meatloaf. Champagne from a glass simper. God damn.

Doubts creep in as an awkward Mitt Romney tries not to lose the GOP nod
By Niall Stanage | The Hill

What’s wrong with Mitt Romney?

In the early stages of this cycle’s Republican nominating process, the former Massachusetts governor seemed confident and sure-footed. Now he seems awkward and defensive . .

Romney seems to have gone into a defensive crouch, leaving many Republicans feeling like football fans who watch their team move to a ‘prevent defense’ to protect a fourth-quarter lead and dread losing all of it. Their nerves are being jangled even as they acknowledge that outright disaster has so far been averted.

The public’s relationship with Mitt Romney is in dire peril. He looks a sniveling little pussy, and Newt’s assholery courage by comparison. People will only tolerate a nerd-wimp for as long as he’s useful. Mitt Romney seemed useful as long as his riches and systemic insider status represented mystical potential to beat the president.

But Newt Gingrich now makes the case for a dick fight. Stupid sexual politics wins the day. He appeals to Republicans’ guts, which is where their brains reside, neighbor to their obsessed-over and underemployed groins.

Mitt’s a silk and brocade wallpaper version of themselves, and they won’t stand for that. They’ve got nothin’ to beat the black baller with, and Mitt the weak-kneed banker can’t do it either. Newt the Cockgob, OTOH, hater so thoroughly of black fellas he’d make their children clean America’s toilets, will punch Barack’s face. Game on.