Romney: I Don’t Notice the Poor but I Will Upend Their Medicare and Unemployment

Mitt Romney: Would you like to know about my campaign? Okay Soledad, if that really is your name, I’ll tell you. I’m not concerned about the very poor because they have the government. Instead, I’m concerned about Americans.

Mitt Romney thinks he won’t lend the poor (i.e., non-Americans) his attention? If you’re poor in America and a Republican like Mittens is hanging around, you always get his attention. The unwanted kind.

No presidential candidate can appease the flesh-ripping GOP without chucking the unfortunate their way. It’s a game: we’re hungry to know who you are, you’ll keep us knee-deep in the carcasses and bone of the poor. CPAC, for example, is a fury of bristling hides and flashing teeth:

“We believe in hard work and education. We love opportunity: almost all of us are immigrants or descendants of immigrants who came here for opportunity–opportunity is in our DNA. Americans love God, and those who don’t have faith, typically believe in something greater than themselves. The values and beliefs of the free American people are the source of our nation’s strength . .”

Work, opportunity, God. Check. They’re salivating now, so throw ’em some meat:

“The 1960’s welfare programs created a culture of poverty. Some think we won that battle when we reformed welfare, but the liberals haven’t given up. At every turn, they try to substitute government largesse for individual responsibility. Dependency is death to initiative, risk-taking and opportunity. Dependency is a culture-killing drug. We have got to fight it like the poison it is.”

Does that sound like someone who will ignore the poor because they’re doing fine? Or like someone who views the unfortunate, the sick and their entitlements — Social Security, Medicare, disability — as culture killing ‘poison’? Dependency is death, after all. Are we supposed to believe Mitt Romney? Or believe he just says nasty, divisive shit because it helps the middle class?

“Unemployment benefits, I think they’ve gone on a long, long, long time. We have to find ways to reduce our spending on a lot of the anti-poverty programs and unemployment programs. But I would far rather see a reform of our unemployment system, to allow people to have a personal account which they’re able to draw from as opposed to having endless unemployment benefits.

So, again, let’s reform the system, make the system work better by giving people responsibility for their own employment opportunities and having that account, rather than doling out year after year more money from an unemployment system.”

Yeah, there’s your answer. Obviously, this is a remarkable attempt to solve the problems of the middle class. When they’re struggling mightily, it’s time to modify and end unemployment benefits. I can’t imagine all the ways that will stiffen the economic backbone of America, principally through terror.

“The entitlement liability can be rectified . . But the turbulence and uncertainty surrounding the financial crisis may keep the entitlement emergency in the shadows, allowing politicians to continue to ignore it for a while longer. Unfortunately, President Obama has done nothing in his first year in office to call attention to this looming crisis or to advance any solutions.”

Mitt Romney will attack the entitlement crisis! No matter how bad things get. Beware, all you beneficiaries (not the poor). Sooo . . middle class! Who’s with me?!

“We want to restore America to the founding principles that made this country great.

He wants to turn America into a European-style entitlement society. We want to ensure that we remain a free and prosperous land of opportunity.

This President takes his inspiration from the capitals of Europe; we look to the cities and small towns of America.”

Whereas our cities and small towns are teeming with desperate middle class, the European capitals are teeming with desperately well-supported middle class. The joke’s on them. America will be soothed to know our biggest losers will be ignored (psssh, they’re fine), Social Security, Medicare and unemployment will be riven by radical reform, while the Great Recession rages, and Mitt Romney’s worried about Idaho. Jobs, people. Is it crystal clear? When you make heads or tails of this candidate, let me know.