Retail poltics left and right: We’re gay, they’re dangerous as hell

Just came across this ad put together by the GOP. They go after the president in this one. They’re betting that a politician who constructs a fundraiser to include New York, scarves and shopping is faggot-y by regular American standards and shouldn’t be president. Maybe someone will see this and go chase Barack out of the White House at the business end of a Colt .99. Somewhere, fate tickles the will of a home-schooled minibike mechanic who masturbates over Dale Earnhardt’s Bible:

My reaction is “You must be kidding.” It’s glitzy fashion week in New York, and the GOP are pointing at a $40 bag? With nail polish in it? It probably costs you $50 to wave at a taxi on Fifth Avenue. Perhaps something went wrong with capitalism overnight? Or maybe Republican fundraising, which is American beyond question, is just better than that, and this is a reminder. $10,000 for a plate of chicken and broccoli beats the hell out of a bag of Petal Pink. When you dispose of your donation the next morning, you can exclaim “Much better!” when you pull the handle.

That’s not a couple of Jacksons insultingly spent. That’s not the latest outrage in the Great Recession. What’s outrageous is the way rich, disgusting Republicans attack the people who are cleaning up their disaster: by calling them disgusting and rich.

The GOP is annoyed we’d “host a ritzy NYC fashion show while 12 million Americans remain out of work?” What about putting those 12 million people out of work? How’s that for bad? If you were honest or gave a damn about anybody but yourselves, Republicans, you’d have offered a decade-long apology and lashed Phil Gramm to the pillory so we could piss on him walking home from the bar. YOU CAUSED THIS MESS.

And to pretend that anybody’s richer or dumber than you is some kind of prank. Your 2012 nominee for president is probably worth more than half the countries in Africa. The Koch brothers will funnel $200 million of their money into elections to select idiots who will strip away environmental protections and welcome global warming. Karl Rove will cram upwards of $240 million into this election cycle to favor people who promise to hate gays, bomb Iran and rub your nose in the gospel of Bizarro Jesus. Newt Gingrich, civilizer of our black children, would have been blown out of these finishing school talent shows if Shelly Adelson weren’t capable of signing $5 million checks in his sleep.

All Sheldon wants is that Jerusalem be recognized as Israel’s capital and that we invade Iran. Newt, of course, has publicly promised to do the former mere hours after he takes the oath of office. What he’s promised in secret we can look forward to finding out. This is traditional Republican politics. Nail polish is harmless.