Clarence Thomas will run for president. Also, the buttmonkeys are here.

Just how stoned do you have to be to write for the Daily Beast? Or is this merely a Sunday problem? Everybody’s too hung over to be sane, apparently.

Clarence Thomas Is a Long Shot for President, But His Candidacy Makes a Lot of Sense
by Adam Winkler | The Daily Beast | Feb 26, 2012

. . While Christie and Bush might be fine candidates, perhaps the Republicans should consider a more inspired and game-changing pick: Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Who thinks this is a good idea? Other than Adam Winkler and a couple of poo-flinging bloggers? If you’ve seen interviews with Thomas, you know what a hump of clay the man is. Phlegmatic, intellectually incurious and self-regarding, Clarence is more donkey than dude.

Thomas as a politician would be a hilarious flop. The guy’s currently got a gig where the opinions of others hold absolutely no sway over his well-being. No matter what anyone else thinks, he can’t be fired. It’s the easiest gig in the world for anyone with a point of view. And he hasn’t said a syllable in six years.

I would love to see Thomas try to convince anyone of anything, ever.

. . Thomas is outgoing and charming off the bench. When he was on tour promoting his autobiography, he easily engaged audiences with his wit, insight, and willingness to talk straight about his upbringing and the Court. About his refusal to ask questions, he’s drawn laughs by joking that his “colleagues should shut up!”

That’s funny? The other justices carrying their weight? No, that’s Thomas. He’s an ass. He’s a hack far out of his depth who’s been leveraging his mind-boggling good luck for gifts and glory. He’d be beyond stupid to resign his position just to become the latest and greatest 2012 Republican embarrassment. And while we’re talking dumb:

Mitt Romney Is a Canny Politician Doing What’s Necessary to Survive the Primaries
by Lee Siegel | The Daily Beast | Feb 26, 2012

Here’s an outrageous proposition. The Republican primary race is not chaos, or a clown show, or a travesty of the political process. It is going exactly as it was meant to go.

Here’s another one. Mitt Romney is not a stumbler, or a bumbler, or a fool. He is a shrewd man painstakingly making his successful way through a complicated situation.

It’s going so predictably well, isn’t it? What gainsaying bullshit.


9 thoughts Clarence Thomas will run for president. Also, the buttmonkeys are here.

  1. avatar heubler says:

    “Who thinks this is a good idea?”

    They probably think he can be both president, and justice at the same time. In that dystopian view of the future, he would be a political Superman, smashing through conventional wisdom like it was an apartment building, and with complete invulnerability; to both declare himself a unitary executive, and to confirm that declaration, as a Supreme Court Justice. A black Superman, to fight who they consider Bizzaro-World Black Superman, Obama.

  2. avatar RepubAnon says:

    Isn’t it interesting how Republican minds look at a person’s race when considering an Obama challenger. Quota system?

  3. avatar Sidewinder says:

    I too believe that Clarence Thomas should RESIGN HIS SEAT & RUN FOR PRESIDENT!!!

    What a contest that would be!! A TITAN of judicial intellect! All women would admire him, all men want to be him!! How would Obama survive such a challenge?!?

    So, once again – Clarence Thomas should, as Mr Winkler proposed, RESIGN HIS SEAT ON THE SUPREME COURT for the purpose of running for President!!

    Amerika!! Fsck Yeah!!

  4. avatar toma says:

    You guys have definitely caught on to something here. The all uber-everything, apartment building humping Aphrodite lady-loving Clarence Q. Freakin’ Thomas. Porn-watching Hooper Dooper Judge, and, also, President. By way of The Federalist Society, the Last Action Hero. God have mercy on our souls . .

  5. avatar Greg says:

    Republicans wouldn’t write this about a liberal judge. They’d start a subversive, well-funded campaign to encourage him/her to get itchy and quit the court, or at least discredit themselves by considering it. Republicans may be a-holes, but they’re a lot better at strategy than Democrats. Really. Consider that in 2012 people are arguing abut birth control pills.

  6. avatar toma says:

    Greg, I’m hoping the birth control thing goes all hoisting and petards.

  7. avatar nonny-moose says:

    Clarry? CLARRY freakin THOMAS?

    oh please. that would be something to look to wouldnt it!

    /falls off chair laughing fit to bust a gut.

  8. avatar toma says:

    Wouldn’t it? Candidate Thomas would be a sure-fire hit with the base, what with the mumbling and incendiary shoe-staring.

  9. avatar Nomad says:

    In case you are too young to remember how this man got on to the bench, here’s an account. He nearly didn’t .

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