Friends, Romans, Douchebags, He is Dead

Wingnut blogger Ace of Spades pays tribute to Andrew Breitbart. It’s some measure of respect for the deceased battleaxe that the blogger feigns his best Antony for Caesar. But then this is Wingnut Antony, one less interested in rhetorical double-dealing and more prone to sincerity in the severe. Please remember that David Frum is Brutus and, though having taken no role in the enfeebling of Andrew’s wussy heart, is crap. Look at this:

And this is where it becomes difficult to honor the Roman injunction to speak no ill of the dead. It’s difficult for me to assess Breitbart’s impact upon American media and American politics as anything other than poisonous. When one of the leading media figures of the day achieves his success by his giddy disdain for truth and fairness—when one of our leading political figures offers to his admirers a politics inflamed by rage and devoid of ideas—how to withhold a profoundly negative judgment on his life and career?

Assassino! Now, our drama opens. Ace drags his heavy self, slowly, into the pulpit. Knee-deep in logos, and pathos. And thus this way, he begins…

Andrew Breitbart died today…

We shall say of them that their legacy consists of more than three words — “Axis,” “of,” and “Evil.”

We shall say of them that they were warriors, and not bitter Vichyites mourning their loss of — loss of? was it ever even possessed? — relevance and reach.

I get it. Andrew Breitbart was to David Frum as Adolf Hitler was to France. Check. We shall laud of them “He slaughtered millions of people without hesitation.” And who did Frum ever really force into a concentration camp? Nobody, that I know of. Loozer.

…from the dawn of time the primitives in the woods envied and feared those with the Magic of Fire.

Ace thinks fire is Magic. Ace remembers when the woods were full of primitives leering at Wichita like it was Brazilian porn. Look at how the cavemen recoil in horror and envy at…the city lights. Andy Breitbart was so trendy and sophisticated, he’d never do that. Because his shocked and spineless heart would immediately catch fire.

As I type this, Breitbart is more alive than David Frum has ever been.

I doubt very much that will change as the years march on.

It is the nature of the rat to envy the lion.

The rat thinks, “If only I could get rich by trashing the lives of anonymous people. I could sleep in the sun.” Oh silly rat boy, dream away.

We should not fault the rat overly for this. For what else can the rat do?

Let’s see: “Rats have been used in many experimental studies, which have added to our understanding of genetics, diseases, the effects of drugs, and other topics that have provided a great benefit for the health and well-being of humankind. Laboratory rats have also proved valuable in psychological studies of learning and other mental processes (Barnett, 2002), as well as to understand group behavior and overcrowding (with the work of John B. Calhoun on behavioral sink). A 2007 study found rats to possess metacognition, a mental ability previously only documented in humans and some primates.” David Frum to the white courtesy meta-phone please. David. Frum.

But we should say that there are lions, and there are rats. And they are easily distinguishable.

And they are as different from each other as the sun is from the mirror that reflects it.

A lion is a ball of fire, a rat is a hunk of glass. Shakespeare coulda written this thing.