Chuck Norris impeaches racist bombshell with penguins

Some plenty crazy on the internet this morning. As always, World Net Daily delivers delusions and babbling right to your table. Hot off the degenerating neo-cortex.

Chuck Norris stumbles around the White House, picking various bits and ends off the ground, and puts together the big picture. He tells us Barack Obama is about to unleash “Project Sawbuck Unleaded.”

President Barack Obama’s energy plan involves radically increasing gas prices to the European rate of $9-10 a gallon. And he’s well on his way by more than doubling prices at the pump since entering office in January 2009, when gasoline was only $1.79 per gallon . .

As you know, U.S. presidents exert exquisite finger-tip control over the energy markets. And Obama has been cranking up the retail rheostat on gas prices since the day of his inauguration. Why? Chuck says it has to do with the glory of green energy bragging rights. Meanwhile, the big story in WaPo, and Memeorandum, this morning is this: “Gas prices sink Obama’s ratings on economy, bring parity to race for White House”. But that doesn’t sound very muzzy-nefarious, so Chuck isn’t interested in it.

I talked about gas prices with a friend last night. And though I’m not much for conspiracies, if you really wanted to rat-fuck an election, manipulating gas prices would be the way to do it. The Romney clown car should run over a cliff, but instead it bounces off an over-inflated Exxon pump and careens toward the White House. Big oil is absolutely capable of doing this, rattling refinery chains and beating thundersticks to ratchet gas up to $6. This is far more likely, and evil, than Chuck’s hallucination.

Biggest article on WND right now? This:

Obama impeachment bill now in Congress
Declares president’s use of military without approval ‘high crime, misdemeanor’

Let the president be duly warned.

Look! It’s the gobaillionth effort to impeach Obama. We’re warning you, mister. We’ll be chasing you with this crap even after you’ve left the White House.

Rep. Walter B. Jones Jr., R-N.C., has introduced a resolution declaring that should the president use offensive military force without authorization of an act of Congress, “it is the sense of Congress” that such an act would be “an impeachable high crime and misdemeanor.”

They ran out of high-school educated lunatics to threaten the President so now they’re down to the droolers. If Obama orders air support for Syrian rebels Congress would then taste, or feel, a “high crime and misdemeanor.” And what is that? Jaywalking with special circumstances? Speeding while laying in wait? Sexual identity trespass? And though the Constitution is definitive about impeachable crimes, Jones wants to clear the air: This would be an impeachable “high crime and misdemeanor.”

You might fear for people this dumb. But look how Kenneth Starr hung around, destroying lives and reputations, until he finally got his big break. Throw a few trillion hooks in the water, and a fish will eventually crawl up your line and leap in your mouth. Then you get to 1.) remind everybody you were right, and 2.) cry “I’m a patriot!” out loud.

There’s this person:

The ‘Babe in the Bunker.’ Little Bo Peep, and her raison d’bleat: “Barbara Simpson fights back against assaults on freedom of speech.”

Did you hear the latest? The government-sponsored inquiry into the media and what it does resurfaced last week with a proposal to put restrictions on virtually everything – print, broadcast and the Internet.

In other words, all media would be scrutinized for “fairness and balance.” Transgressions would be tracked, and media outlets would be legally accountable.

But that was in Australia! Don’t you feel lucky to be American? I dig it when right-wingers play nation peek-a-boo. Anyway, Barbara lives in a gulag or something:

. . but think about what might happen if Obama is re-elected.

We’re already censored, perhaps not with the full weight of the law, but it’s there and getting worse.

Doubt me?

Try saying the “N” word – in public, in print, on the radio or television, in your workplace.

Walking down the street, Barbara thinks she should be able to call the local kids “N*ggers.” But darn if she just can’t seem to get it out. Because people won’t like it, and then out will come their words. And that, friends, is how America lost its First Amendment. N*ggers yelling back.

How about calling someone “gay” as a criticism or a taunt?

How about saying anything that even smacks of negativism about Muslims? All you know what would come down on you, along with demands for public apologies.

Barbara could shout out what’s in her little black heart. We could take her seriously. We could all get along.