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Ayn Rand uh-choppin’ broccoli

ayn rand stuff, flat out dumb

The hub of online libertarian thought and discourse focuses upon this week’s high court doings. The arguments on Obamacare draw the interest of the unflinching intellects who inhabit the eminent Reason.com.

Expect the usual. ‘Gosh, the proceedings are serious (titter). Look at how hard everybody’s trying (cough).’ Serious people always find the rest of us silly. Folks who can quote Ayn Rand chapter and paragraph from thousands of pages of stultifying prose probably find Supreme Court arguments whimsical.

Press your ear to Earth’s brain-box. You can fairly hear their thoughts . .

“How hard is it to be Ruth Bader Ginsburg, really? Who can’t sit at a desk? How hard is it to set fire to a gavel? What’s so smart about everybody when everyone’s stupid? You guys should try feeding America a diet of greed. Try baking a palatable philosophy with narcissism. When any of you losers can manage that, we’ll talk.”

With that attitude, Reason went right at the proceedings. Justice Scalia’s argumentum ad absurdum proved to be damn amusing.

“Could you define the market — everybody has to buy food sooner or later, so you define the market as food, therefore, everybody is in the market; therefore, you can make people buy broccoli,” Scalia asked during the second day of oral arguments.

Mr. Obama, you’re basing your argument for the mandate upon the Commerce Clause. Well, buying vegetables is commerce, too. What about a broccoli mandate? Hmm?

Now there’s some Randian lightning. John Galt would have shoved the government’s celery right back up its *ss, for sure. You too, Michelle. Scalia’s coup de rhubarb proved so logically devastating that the Reason-ers had to turn the question upon the world. Well, world?

87 Percent of Americans Agree With Conservative Supreme Court Justices on Broccoli Mandate
Emily Ekins | March 27, 2012

“If the government can do that, what else can it do?” asked Justice Antonin Scalia, referring to the individual mandate portion of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. He then questioned whether Congress could also require individuals to buy vegetables, such as broccoli.

Ever seen a poll on intentional absurdity? Look!

The recent national Reason-Rupe poll of 1200 adults released yesterday shows 87 percent of Americans believe it is unconstitutional for Congress to mandate that you buy broccoli. Eight percent think Congress can constitutionally force you to buy vegetables.

Notwithstanding the rampant intellectualism, I’ll assume broccoli is a vegetable.

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2 COMMENTS

2 Comments

  1. Sidney  •  Mar 28, 2012 @8:03 am
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    If the broccoli industry was forced to give me free broccoli when I turned up at the supermarket in serious need of some vegetation, then they had to charge others MORE for the same product because of me, then we can talk vegetables Scalia.

  2. toma  •  Mar 28, 2012 @10:18 am
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    Right with you, Sidney. If you got hit by a car and the only way witnesses could save you was by giving you the food in their pockets, then we’d have a problem. It isn’t fair to deprive one person in order to keep another alive. At that point the government has a perfectly good reason to force everyone to buy broccoli. Strange that you and I can get it, but Scalia can’t.