The ladies of Brooklyn could use some pointers. Three weeks from today, the right Republican New York Senator Marty Golden will hold an event on 76th street, at Bay Ridge Manor. Lucky youze.

It won’t be no boring fundraiser. Naw, it’ll be like a debutante’s ball, or a cotillion. Or like a 17th century Viennese social, replete with powder-flecked waltzes and some delicious palace intrigue. If you don’t know what that is (I don’t), don’t you worry. Professor Higgins will be there to tell you:

SENATOR MARTY GOLDEN invites you to Refresh your Business Etiquette and Social Protocol Skills!

· HANDSHAKES AND INTRODUCTIONS
· POSTURE DEPORTMENT AND THE FEMININE PRESENCE

. . so. Youze been putting Marty in a headlock? No, no, ladies, that is no way to behave. We run a polite society here. Marty is a Republican. Upon presentation to Mister Monsignor Senator Fancysox Golden, you lie on your back and present the parts for wanding. Legs high, pinkies askew. Here I am. Now let me know who’s hiring, pal.