Once again, Governor Buttclench boffs the kennel poodle. Left with only a whopping two chances to turn the oncoming November embarrassment around (a hooray! pick for running mate and a rip-roaring stem-winder to finish the transvestite streetwalker teach-in/Tampa GOP convention), he lunges for the most unlikable asshole looming over the independent/moderate voter: Paul Ryan.

And what an introduction. It was once said of the Palestinians that they never missed a chance to miss a chance. Mitt Romney never fucked up an opportunity to fuck up: