Mother Jones posts a video from a big-money Mitt Romney fundraiser where the bajillionaire talks candidly amongst My People, the zillionaires. Can you believe it? He thinks anyone who votes against him, the most organically inspirational and trustworthy American who ever lived, is a lying, shiftless jobless parasite. How does he know this to be true? How in the world did he manage to figure this out? It’s all in the numbers behind You People that pay no taxes.

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.”

The magical statistic, that there are always 47% who pay zero, who knows if that’s real? Or why? Who cares. Anybody, anyone at all who would vote for Obama, who is considering voting for Obama, who is wondering if maybe voting for Obama this time around isn’t a pretty good idea, who is maybe not-right-wing, who is maybe brown-skinned, or maybe a working stiff, or a disabled veteran, or a pensioner who now pays less for her prescriptions (damned Obamacare), and now her life is a little better because of it, every one of these people is a bath salt smoking Afro-Snooki — sure the bazongas but I’m also talking actual head-to-toe black skin, or at least welfare — with an axe to grind because she’s too lazy and stupid, and frankly taken with pointing and laughing at the Humble White Christian Wretches of Labor Corporata Dolorosa, to work, ever.

“. . my job is is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

So you retirees with no income and little reason, however perfectly job-creating and pro-Republican, to break open your savings accounts and pay whatever taxes on zero, Mitt should give a damn about you? You’re going to vote for Obama anyways, stoners.

Some of you geniuses will read this and take a prurient interest in the candidate’s willingness to ‘care for his own life’ by way of federal levies and the like. For You People (this is wildly abusive and none of your fucking business, bastards), 65 year-old Mitt Romney pays thirteen percent tops, but maybe only five, and it could be zero, of his annual retirement millions and millions in taxes. This makes him a paragon of fiscally foxy and personally responsible. You do the math.