Of the many pleasing things to look forward to after Mitt Romney wins the November election, the War with Iran might be the most entertaining. It’s been nine months since our country’s been in two wars simultaneously, and a Romney administration would probably seek to correct that.

Urging ostensibly the Republican candidate, his friends and Americans in general to take seriously an attack on Iran, David P. Goldman writes in Asia Times. He predicts the glorious events to follow after Israel launches a pre-emptive strike. The American Thinker was sanguine about Goldman’s prospects:

Well if it looks that good, let’s consider it. I’m always up for doing something ‘positive’ with our military. In “All-out Middle East war as good as it gets,” Goldman, as “Spengler,” plays out his scenario for constructive destruction:

What ripples would ensue from a successful Israeli strike on Iran?

Iran probably would attempt to block the Straits of Hormuz, the gateway for a fifth of the world’s oil supply, and America would respond by destroying Iranian conventional military capabilities and infrastructure from the air. This would add to Tehran’s humiliation, and strengthen the domestic opposition.

Iran’s influence in Iraq and Syria would diminish, although Iran’s supporters in both countries probably would spill a great deal of blood in the short run.

Sounds good so far. A few thousand dead bodies, violence and chaos.

Hizbollah almost certainly would unleash its missile arsenal at Israel, inflicting a few hundred casualties by Israeli estimates. Israel would invade southern Lebanon and – unlike the 2006 war – fight without fear of Syrian intervention…

There is a possibility, to be sure, that Syria would launch chemical and biological warheads against Israel, but if the Assad government employed weapons of mass destruction, Israel would respond with a nuclear bombardment. In this case deterrence is likely to be effective. Iran’s influence in Lebanon would be drastically diminished.

Governments torn apart, countries invaded, chemical and biological wars breaking out, what a burlesque. The precipitation of nuclear Armageddon when a deterrent fails, and there’s your show stopper. If you favor burning the Middle East to the ground, this Iran gambit comes made to order.

Stripped of support from its Iranian sponsor, the Alawite regime would fall, and Syria would become a Saudi-Turkish condominium. Ethnic butchery would go on for some time.

It’s like an orgy, except it’s closer to bone-shattering mayhem among a sea of headless bodies. And no delicious icky sex. It’s a version of Nirvana, perhaps fashioned by a satanic and well-known immortal personage. Where do we sign up?

The vision shared by the George W Bush and Barack Obama administrations, albeit with some variation, of a Middle East dotted with democratic regimes friendly to the United States would pop like a soap-bubble.

Is it my birthday? This feels like my birthday.

In the absence of an American leadership willing to assert American strategic interests in the region, Israel well might save the United States.

Dear Bibi: Thanks for the apocalypse. The fallout was lovely.

There is no reason to expect most of the Muslim countries to go quietly into irreversible decline. All-out regional war is the likely outcome sooner or later. We might as well get on with it.

THERE it is. I was waiting for that.