After the Colorado theater shooting, a man wonders: How long would it take police to come to my Arizona neighborhood in the event of a terrorist attack? So he did a stupid thing. He dressed up his 16 year old nephew in a baby blue toga and gave him a bizarre looking fake weapon.
After 15 minutes of aimless ambling, the cops showed. No one got arrested for the weird doings.
Months later, the man capped it off by posting the daring video with his narration. The clip opens with this warning to the viewer: “Do not attempt to recreate the contents of this video.” This time the police arrest him. The moral of the story? People who were stupid in the past are likely to remain that way.
About that. Roger Simon attempted a bit of satire yesterday. Neither Politico nor Roger is capable of satire, so they certainly wouldn’t be known for it, so it was a strange idea. Roger and Politico are capable of bottomless political wankery. This is what they’re famous for. But seeing as how the post alternated between seemingly straight reporting and poking fun, it looked as if Roger had come to his senses. He had not. Instead, Roger assumed we would fall off our chairs at reading that Romney might call his running mate “Gilligan.” A former Republican presidential candidate — one that got to be president — called his best pal “Turdblossom.” And still does.
Coming toward the end of a campaign where Republicans have acted far too bizarrely to parody to actual hilarity, a Simon take on the absurd is impossible. The Minnesota candidate swore our slave-holding Founding Fathers tried to abolish slavery. The Georgia candidate promised to build colonies on the moon. The Pennsylvania candidate admitted that if it were up to him, he would ban condoms. The Texas candidate didn’t know the parts of the government he was campaigning to dismantle. And the businessman candidate couldn’t remember the existence of Libya, where we were involved in a revolution.
For the winners of the primary circus, the VP candidate, who claimed to have run a three hour marathon, is a budget expert that has yet to unveil a budget with any numbers in it. And the presidential candidate believes Utah invented Cold Fusion. Meanwhile, fans of all these people no longer believe in reality because everyone is out to hurt them. With statistics.