Joel Pollak writing at Breitbart.com. Woah, sorry: at BREITBARTDOTCOM. *ahem* and *aherrrrm* . . YELL YELL MITT IS ABOUT TO LOSE THIS ISN’T FAIR.

Mitt Romney is about as close to defeating President Barack Obama as any Republican could have hoped to be.

But first: Ha ha. Anybody, and I mean everybody, was expected to beat the recession president. It was statistically impossible for a challenger to lose. George Will figured a Republican party that bollixed this sure thing wasn’t even a party any more. But Pollak can’t believe how lucky the wingnuts are. To be losing. Very badly. Things are going as impossibly well as can be imagined.

The polls–if you believe them–show him slightly or significantly behind, but within striking distance. The challenge he faces is unique: he is acting, and is being treated as, the incumbent rather than the insurgent. In effect, “President” Romney has been in office since mid-August, with none of the power but all of the responsibility.

This would be a new one. Or a hot one. Or say what?

It was President Romney, not Obama, who set aside time to visit victims of Hurricane Isaac.

And told a suddenly houseless woman to “go home” and phone emergency services.

It was President Romney, not Obama, who reacted swiftly to the attacks on our embassies by standing up for American freedom.

President Mitt: “It’s disgraceful that the Obama administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.” Thank you, Mr. Makes Things Up. A.k.a Hey People Are Dead You Asshole Do You Mind?

It was President Romney, not Obama, who took on the entitlements crisis head-on by adopting many of Paul Ryan’s ideas.

And with those magic beans did nothing, because that’s the best he can do. He is but an utterly unemployed millionaire. But let’s call him “presidential,” for fun if nothing else.

It was President Romney, not Obama, who laid out a practical plan for the housing crisis.

To wit: “The candidate, reflecting a view widely held within his party, has stood by his position that the government should stay out of the national housing mess and let the market ‘hit the bottom,’ as he said here in October. Conservative economists have argued that any meaningful intervention would delay a recovery and transfer the problem from homeowners to taxpayers and investors. Such moves, Mr. Romney said last week in Florida, would be ‘a fool’s errand.’” Therefore, Mister Practical, who really wants to do nothing and watch the world burn, acts like President of the United States. You can’t really blame Joel Pollak for this strange argument, he lives on Saturn. His president is a blargh o’ smoof, and they are an annoying and a lazy bunch.

. . Romney cannot think about the polls. He is, in every way but the oath alone, President Romney already, for better or for worse. So he has to do what an incumbent does: lead, and be strong.

Mitt Romney. Every day, he is leading and strong. Talk about weird.