This blog has avoided writing about Sally Quinn for good reason. Moth-brained debutantes, even as they gratifyingly shrivel in old age, are not interesting. But there is regular stupid, and there is this-is-entertaining stupid. Then there is I-saw-a-man-weep-cuz-he-lit-his-own-fart-afire stupid. And then, and only after that, far past that, in a territory where the natives wear bongos and eat the driest dirt so that they may sleep in daytime, there is Sally Quinn.
“What we really believed in and practiced was voodoo, psychic phenomenon, Scottish mysticism, palm reading, astrology, seances, and ghosts. And I have many, many stories about those, real stories. And that — those things were my true religion, aside from dancing.”
Aside from grooving to Pat Boone, Sally practiced ghosts. This would be a Washington Post columnist. Whose beat is religion. Here is the sophisticated scribe on Wednesday’s debate: “Part of claiming your citizenship is claiming a belief in God, even if you are not Christian.” Thanks for informing me I’m not American. Sally shook her dumb ass to Fabian, ran a few seances — ‘Coco Chanel? A maxi with the saffron flats?’ — and now she lectures our President. Really. “If Obama wants to win the next debate, he needs to wear God, as much as it offends him to do so . . ” Talk about gypsy balls. You’d figure Miss Cleo could have just whispered in his dreams.
“Aunt Ruth was psychic, my aunt Maggie was psychic, and I’m psychic. So we actually put hexes on people and they really worked. It was actually really scary and I finally stopped when my brother, who has a PhD. in religion from the University of Chicago and is a theosophist and also a practicing Buddhist, told me I had to cut it out because it would come back at me three times. And you know, anything that I did later that was troublesome, I kept thinking ‘I brought this on myself. I should never have put a hex on her.’”
And now Princess Di is dead. That’s what happens when you snub Sally at the Fire and Ice cotillion. Don’t ever tell me Beltway society is intelligent.