A giant bombshell conspiracy Watergate has been uncovered by Tucker Carlson’s skew-eyed fap detectives. I stumbled across it when I read this post title: “ABC News scrambles to downplay Obama’s attendance at VP debate moderator’s wedding.” The President went to someone’s wedding you say? When? I don’t recall. That would have been a massive conspiracy too, Daily Caller-wise, I should think.

Who’s the moderator anyway? Oh, Martha Raddatz. She just got married?

President Barack Obama was a guest at the 1991 wedding of ABC senior foreign correspondent and vice presidential debate moderator Martha Raddatz, The Daily Caller has learned.

Holy cobwebs. Do tell, Deep Throat.

A source who attended the 1991 wedding told TheDC that Obama was also a guest there, and remembered that a man by the name of “Barry Obama” was among the guests dancing at the reception.

Oh yes, he was there, 21 years ago. The attendees remember someone who threw back his cape to address the shocked but oddly pacified crowd: “Look at this! I have usurped the wedding! You fools. Now you are all mine, wonky elitists, and eternally destined to ply my Zulu will. The good news! Dear Pelosi, the plan!! It’s all COMING TOGETHER AH HA HA HA . . .” So good luck sheeple having a decent debate.

The DC are fending off the reels of spiraling laughter with their usual sanity. The network’s refusal to give up the conspiracy ghost was an “attempt to kill the story.” ABC News offered an unlikely explanation:

“Barack Obama was a law school classmate of Raddatz’s ex-husband Julius Genachowski at Harvard. At the time Barack Obama was a student and president of the Law Review. He attended their wedding over two decades ago along with nearly the entire Law Review, many of whom went onto successful careers including some in the Bush administration. Raddatz and Mr. Genachowski divorced in 1997 and both are now remarried.”

Naturally, the Doily Mauler has taken to slapping its own back, tooting its own whistle, etc., for scooping everyone. This sort of journalism deserves a kudo every now and again.

In august The Daily Caller first connected Genachowski, an Obama appointee, to Raddatz following her selection as the vice presidential debate moderator by the left-leaning Commission on Presidential Debates.

This they did by recalling the New York Times profile of Raddatz back in November.