Conservatives and Comedy Autism VIII

Why can’t conservatives understand comedy? No one knows. Yet they continue to make these weird, puzzling political cartoons. It’s very mysterious. These things don’t make sense. They are misspelled. They are badly drawn. And still I get the feeling your typical wingnut reads one of these and then blows snot bubbles on himself. Why? Only the gods know.

As always, the first slot goes to Eric Allie.

The guy’s name is Todd Akin. These sages don’t really know politics, they just like to draw pictures.

How hard can a political cartoonist’s life be? Wake up, take the issue of the day, slap it with a “racist”sticker. Go back to bed.

Chuck Asay takes a stand, dammit. Big Bird should starve. Or he’s a minority, take your pick. Screw that, take ’em both.

In Chuck’s world, hippies run around and say pot smoking should be “safe, legal and rare.” Or they never do that, but marijuana is as evil as abortion. I don’t know.

A decent Republican president would dive right into Israel’s tide of violence. And get a load of poor Bibi, lashed to a pier in the flood of war(?). Poor man, he’s drowning while America remains warm and dry, filming a Tampax commercial. Makes you want to shoot someone, doesn’t it?

Gary McCoy. I have no idea. None.

The other McCoy, Glenn. Remember how Romney was treated at the debate? Or, uh, how the president acted a certain way? Or the media did something? Me neither.

It’s America, the whiskey-guzzling vagrant.

Ken Catalino is an unqualified superstar in the realm of Comedy Autism. He should hire someone to check if his cartoons make any sense, they usually don’t. This would be sock puppetry, that’s all. It certainly doesn’t need to be drawn.

A good start: An AK-47 in every home. And a husband who points the remote control at the TV all day.

Frankenstein. Emblematic of . . nothing. But his brain is “unhinged” and that’s why Joe Biden, not pictured, sucks.

The new Minuteman. Armed with the oil companies’ pump nozzle, he will rise up against…consumers? I have no idea.

No wonder NFL football has sucked. The referees have been calling all the plays. Nice to have the coaches and QBs back in charge.

Entitlement beer a.k.a. Big Gummit. Ken shoulda cut the ‘n’ a check and lured it back to work. Or maybe it’s a can of strained carrots, you know, for the toothless crowd (…Ken?).

Brian Farrington. Obama anywhere near a noose is comical.

Rape is really funny too. Good thing those stand-your-ground laws legalized the ownership of working handguns. And bullets.

Lastly, this guy I just came across, Bob Gorrell. He appears to be a master of the multi-panel format. These punch lines land like lead vultures.

Weather…and…whether. ZING.


The president denies the rights of right-wing moms. Do tell.

He saved General Motors to help the terrorists – literally. No wonder Mitt Romney wanted to bankrupt Detroit, it was a foreign policy issue. Now this:

I think Bob’s saying brains are the real danger, so there’s no point in gun control. Is a thought more explosive than a hydrogen bomb? Just curious. Of course this means there’s no point in leveling sanctions against Iran as well. All criminals, incidentally, come replete with brains so we can dispense with our commie justice system.

Now, and finally, the last cartoon. Good luck with the semiotics here. If any of you figure this one out drop me a line in the comments, will ya? I could use the help.