And now for some breezy Saturday night pop psychology. From the expansive mind of Stephen Rittenberg, MD, I give you: “Big Bird, Liberalism, and Perversion.”

We begin with the good doctor telling us he has been observing wimps and fairies for fifty years. Now he has noticed something about liberals. Something . . shall we say familiar? We shall.

The screaming and caterwauling, the marches announced to defend the puppet, reveal some important truths about contemporary liberalism and its adherents. Gov. Romney in one witty comment suggested that it is time to grow up, to relinquish the utopian fantasy of a blissful androgynous childhood free of conflict. In one comment, he leveled a blast at the feminized metrosexual culture of contemporary liberalism . .

Liberals long for what Big Bird represents: that utopian childish dream world where differences of gender, talent, fortune, looks, race, color, intelligence, etc. do not exist.

Naw. Not wishing for oblivion, Doc. I can get that with beer (see you soon, my love). Just preferring that children be entertained by Sesame Street rather than the kiddie cocaine dealers at Disney or Pokemon Conglomeration Inc. You sure sound smart, though.

I have written previously in American Thinker about perversion as a mode of thinking, not just a form of sexual behavior. Perversion (see the Marquis de Sade) seeks to abolish all differences — of gender, of generations, of species. The incest taboo is overturned, species differences are abolished, and the distinction between animate and inanimate is dismissed as all things are reduced to fecal sameness. Sade anticipated the dreams of postmodern wordsmith intellectuals.

I buffet your cotton-candy taint with my handcrafted syllables. Tanqueray. Trinitron. Tidykatz. Travelocity. Sshhh, you be quiet. We are one. Beer, please.

Joe Biden is an example to illustrate Heywood Hale Broun’s definition of a liberal: “A man who leaves the room when the fight begins.” He was fortunate that Ryan chose to remain calm in the face of provocation. What really undergirds the delight over Biden’s rude tantrum and his bizarre affect is rage at the fact that Romney proved himself to be a mature man while his opponent revealed himself to be a child, a weak and immature person — in short, a wimp.

Ryan woulda kicked Joe’s ass — fucken-a! Also, the President’s a faggot. This is what happens to you when you’re nihilist, perverse and immature — the intellectuals over at American Thinker slap your balls around.

One of the remarkable aspects of the presidential campaign is that we have been able to see a candidate who represents the postmodern blurring of gender — a metrosexual man who is, in the current cant phrase, “in touch” with his feminine side. Who would have guessed we’d have a president who tosses a baseball like a girl?

You think George Patton threw like a girl? No sir, he threw like a man. Like an animal, man. George threw a baseball like a pissed off Tyrannosaurus. You couldn’t even catch it, you could only get dominated by it. It would fuck you silly and then rip your purse apart looking for cab fare. George’s baseball was something of a bastard.

Let us not underestimate the skill with which the president is able to represent his postmodern, androgynous, egalitarian vision. He goes on The View and schmoozes with Oprah, just like the gossipy woman next door. He prides himself on identifying with angry women and children. You would not be surprised to hear him share his deep feeling for what women go through physically . .

You would not be surprised to find him skipping out on homeroom to meet that hippie, Todd Meacham, under the bleachers. Or trading candy for kisses at the spirit rally. Or hiking up his skirt whenever the jocks walked by. How Becky Adalardo gets away with it we don’t know, but we ain’t complaining.