It comes with American cheese

There:

Twenty-two children were hurt by a knife-wielding man at a primary school in central China.

Min Yingjun, 36, stabbed an elderly woman before bursting into Chenpeng Village Primary School in the Henan province yesterday.

Seven of the students, aged between six and 12 years old, were taken to hospital, some with severed fingers and ears.

And here:

A 20-year-old man wearing combat gear and armed with semiautomatic pistols and a semiautomatic rifle killed 26 people — 20 of them children — in an attack in an elementary school in central Connecticut on Friday. Witnesses and officials described a horrific scene as the gunman, with brutal efficiency, chose his victims in two classrooms while other students dove under desks and hid in closets.

Makes a difference, doesn’t it?

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8 thoughts It comes with American cheese

  1. avatar Rev. Howard Furst says:

    Former Arkansas governor and current Faux News bloviator Mike Huckabee just suggested that the exclusion of Jehovah from schools these days is at the root of these atrocities against schoolchildren.

    “Well, you know, it’s an interesting thing,” Huckabee said on Fox News. “We ask why there is violence in our schools, but we’ve systematically removed God from our schools. Should we be so surprised that schools have become a place for carnage because we’ve made it a place where we don’t want to talk about eternity, life, responsibility, accountability? That we’re not just going to have to be accountable to the police, if they catch us. But one day, we will stand in judgment before God. If we don’t believe that, we don’t fear that.”

    I would like to hear how Mr. Huckabee reconciles that suckass God-pandering explanation with the Good Lord’s actual words of instruction in the Bible, in which Jehovah sanctions the slaughter of male children and pregnant or even just nonvirginal women via His primary henchman Moses, after the defeat of the Midianite army of menfolk. Let’s tune in partway through the episode in Numbers:

    31:15 And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?

    31:16 Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.

    31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

    31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

    By saving the women children “alive for yourselves”, Moses brought 32,000 Midianite virgins into the Israelite fold to rapidly expand Team Jehovah; booty, as it were, for the impressive victory.

    Mr. Huckabee reveals himself as yet another Huckster pushing counter-Biblical heresies for the sake of tribal kudos and so that he can blame kids for their own murders, whether by assault rifle or scimitar. Monster.

  2. avatar toma says:

    You have a point. The shooter’s behavior is obviously Christian. How can Huckster be sure he wasn’t Yahweh-sent? It’s a safe bet the 8 year-olds were fornicating or blaspheming or finger-painting pentagrams. IIRC, there are no accidents in His world. Quote Dude, in Job: ‘Where were you when I was snorting bosons off the backs of 11-dimensional hookers?’ You were a speck in a mote’s eye, bud. So let’s stop second guessing this Adam fellow and, by extension, His awe inspiring plan, hell-seeming as it is.

  3. avatar Grung_e_Gene says:

    “The white man, that landed here; He came with two great weapons. One is the bible and the other was the gun. If he didn’t humble you with the bible, he’d crumble you with the gun. And he’s still praising the lord and passing the ammunition.” – Lewis H. Michaux

    The term Run Amuck or Amuco stems from the Malay uncontrolable with rage and affected young males who because of their station were denied access to wives. Now, when he would do this armed with war club and flint knife he might kill 1 or 2 people before the tribe killed him.

    If only the Malay people had the foresight to have the Jesus FREEDOM we enjoy to engage in unrestricted Gun Violence!

  4. avatar toma says:

    If only the Malay people had the foresight to have the Jesus FREEDOM we enjoy to engage in unrestricted Gun Violence!

    They’d have been going to Wonder Bread heaven instead of ethnic purgatory. But would they have said ‘Thank You’? No, because they speak ‘boogalee.’ And they’re ingrates.

  5. avatar Rev. Howard Furst says:

    In case anyone in the studio audience thought I was being cheeky above in referring to the virginal spoils of the victory of Moses and the Israelites as “booty”, that’s exactly the term Jehovah Himself used, including sheep, beeves and asses along with the 32,000 virgins. From Numbers 31, in the Author’s own Words:

    31:32 And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was six hundred thousand and seventy thousand and five thousand sheep,

    31:33 And threescore and twelve thousand beeves,

    31:34 And threescore and one thousand asses,

    31:35 And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.

    We leave it to the reader to determine if Jehovah was making a little pun about booty, and what that might imply about the grouping of sheep and beeves with virgins and asses in the category of “booty”. Furthermore, this evidence of Jehovah possibly sanctioning sexual congress with livestock won in battle (in contrast to His disapproval regarding intercourse with one’s own sheep or beeves, as in Leviticus 18:23) may have appalling implications for interpretation of the famous line from Psalm 23, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want; He makes me lie down in green pastures“, adding a third heinous abuse to the two more common fates of those who accept Shepherds as their Guardians: 1) fleecing [the shirt off one’s back…], and 2) being served up with mint sauce.

  6. avatar toma says:

    That explains a great deal as to the way Catholic priests ‘tend’ their flocks. I will offer that when they begin to broil and eat the altar boys they have finally gone too far.

  7. avatar Anonymous says:

    Alas, Jehovah wouldn’t consider that going too far:

    “And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.” — Leviticus 26:29

    “And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend.” — Jeremiah 19:9

    “Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers.” — Ezekiel 5:10

    “This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him.” 2 Kings 6:28-29

  8. avatar toma says:

    The Bible is tough. Good thing no one takes it seriously, or we’d be a heartless warmongering people with little regard for women or the sanctity of life.

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