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Jesus was a Crip

Dec 30, 2012
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The Bible weighs in on gun control.

When the temple guards of the Sanhedrin came to the Garden of Gethsemane to arrest Jesus, the apostle Simon Peter leapt to the Lord’s defense, drew his sword, and sliced off the ear of a slave accompanying the guards. This is where the quoted Bible passage comes into play. The gospel of Matthew (26:52) tells us that Jesus rebuked Peter, saying, “Put up again thy sword into its place: for all that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” Quite a pacifist message, huh?

Yet there’s something generally overlooked here. Peter only had a sword to draw because he had one on his person — and Jesus obviously took no issue with this.


Amen.

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4 Comments

  1. Grung_e_Gene  •  Dec 30, 2012 @4:49 pm
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    “The white man, that landed here; He came with two great weapons. One is the bible and the other was the gun. If he didn’t humble you with the bible, he’d crumble you with the gun. And he’s still praising the lord and passing the ammunition.” – Lewis H. Michaux

    Would jesus have preferred a revolver to ensure it didn’t jam or would he have used a Glock knowing he could clear any double-feeds with a wave of his hand?

  2. toma  •  Dec 30, 2012 @6:44 pm
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    We have footage of John Wayne, don’t we?

    It’s a Mac 10.

  3. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Dec 30, 2012 @9:49 pm
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    It is significant that Simon Peter chose to slice off the ear of a slave accompanying the temple guards to show them that he meant business. Probably a smart move at the time, but one that promotes the idea that surrogate victims are acceptable in the eyes of Jehovah, which is perhaps the root of contemporary school or theater shootings, with the shooters too prudent or yellow bellied to take out their real targets, the ones who would decisively satisfy their bloodlust (or teach them that killing usually doesn’t satisfy the itch that they are trying to scratch). Another Biblical faux pas with unintended (I hope…) consequences. I doubt that the Good Book would pass legal review intact if a Deity tried to get it published for the first time in today’s world.

  4. toma  •  Dec 31, 2012 @1:49 am
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    Yo yo Simon pocket the heat, I got this. The Man was a banger, knowhaimsayin? His homie got itchy and chump lost an ear. Yeah? Deal. He’s Prince of Peace bitch. Step to J-dog and step to pain, spiritually speaking. More attitude-laden cliches.

    You’d think Jesus would rebuke Simon Peter after that demonstration of abject violence, but no. He was callous. No wonder slaves were around for 200 years in this country, He figured them for bags of meat.