Hillary crushes Ron Johnson’s manly pride

Polyester manufacturer Sen. Ron Johnson harbored himself a real whopping hard-on for Benghazi. [Libyan Tom Jones jokes here.] And boy did he get the chance of a nutter’s lifetime yesterday: The dissembler, the coward, the Clinton!, Hillary finally deigned to show up before him and weasel out of the truth.

If she figured the hearing would be a cakewalk, the Senior Senator would destroy the idea. Because the Benghazi charade was about to be exposed by a simple Ron Johnson fact: You could have made a phone call. The Secretary of State could simply have talked to anybody near the tragedy and cleared the whole thing up. Fairly obvious! Ring up that payphone hanging on the compound wall and say “This is Hillary Clinton. Now tell me what happened.” Done.

Forget all the CIA spooks and intelligence nerds and khaki security rangers and the careful way in which an entire government labels someone a “terrorist” though you well know this has life-and-death consequences and why not leave it all up to some random civilian? Hmm?

Oops, alright. She’s not just a coward and a Clinton and a liberal squish. She knows what’s she’s doing, and she gives better than she gets.

“With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans,” she said. “Was it because of a protest, or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they’d go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make? It our job to figure out what happened and do everything we can to prevent it from ever happening again, senator. Now, honestly, I will do my best to answer your questions about this. The fact is that people were trying, in real time, to get to the best information.”

The Senator then yields his inquiry like the pig who bit the porcupine. That wasn’t fun.

And then he runs right to the press. Because everybody in America, and soon to be everyone with an internet, has seen him get his sorry butt kicked from here to the moon. Things didn’t go as planned for you, did they Senator? Your comments?

“I think she just decided before she was going to describe emotionally the four dead Americans, the heroes, and use that as her trump card to get out of the questions,” Johnson told BuzzFeed after the Senate hearing. “It was a good way of getting out of really having to respond to me.”

Translation: She beat me like the better man she is. Ouch.