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Althouse and her pals total dumbasses? True!

Jan 31, 2013
I have derpes

Right on top of the “Gabrielle Giffords is a retard with a liberal hand up her ass” post. Ann spots something interesting on the internet. Did any you hear about this Sunday?

“Forget Beyonce. It will be Bob Dylan entertaining us at Super Bowl half-time.”
posted by Ann Althouse at 3:31 PM

That’s what Tim Heidecker says:

[Dylan] is replacing Beyonce who dropped out after her inauguration lip synching scandal.

“Running Out The Clock” is a previously unreleased song from Dylan’s 1983 “Infidels” album. I guess it makes sense… the football metaphors and references. Song audio at the link. I find this a tad hard to believe. I love old Bob, but I don’t picture him in this setting, and I can’t imagine Beyonce is so easily embarrassed.

“Running Out The Clock” is all of a lousy parody. We have a Super Bowl of derp. Should the idea of Bob getting millions of fat slobs to sing along with “Ballad of a Thin Man” not tickle Ann, maybe Heidecker’s being a comedian could give her pause. Cuz’ it’s a little weird, I tells ya:

BDNYC said…

His music is soporific and thus completely unsuited to Super Sunday. Is halftime for quiet meditation? After a few beers and some potato skins and chicken wings, I might just take a nap.

Nonapod said…

I have this image of Dylan surrounded by nubile dancers and as a pyrotechnic display goes off just as Nicki Minaj walks on the stage rapping.

mccullough said…

I love Bob Dylan, but this is a horrible decision.

I pray he lip-synches.

Shouting Thomas said…

Dylan’s voice is completely shot. Nothing left.

Steve Koch said…

I hope Beyonce performs at the super bowl, not Bob Dylan.

rhhardin said…

That’s a nice piece. The secret is that the instruments have to be in tune.

The voice is allowed speaking space.

Kelly said…

Hopefully he’ll sing something from his Christmas album.

ndspinelli said…

Althouse will have a stroke when the general public, used to singers who actually can sing, rip her hero a new asshole. There’s going to be blood in the water. He’s going to make the Who’s performance look good. Maybe Dylan will have a wardrobe malfunction and flash his johnson.

carrie said…

I just can’t imagine this working out very well!

bardseyeview said…

Her agent may have told that there’s a real chance of her getting booed.

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7 Comments

  1. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Jan 31, 2013 @9:39 am
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    Lest we forget, fraudulent music is a recurrent theme during inauguration of Kenyan Usurper presidents. In 2009, violinist Itzhak Perlman (with whom I have had the pleasure of sharing an elevator ride in the swanky Hotel Okura in Tokyo), cellist Yo Ma-Ma, and pianist Gabriela Montero finger-synced their performance during Mr. B. Hussein Obama’s first inauguration ceremony. The public excuse they gave was that the weather was too cold for proper function of their instruments, but I personally choose to believe that they, and more recently Mrs. Beyonce-Z, refused to perform live as a protest for their forced musical participation with a president whom they loathe, de-legitimizing the event by substituting recordings.

    Ms. Althouse and her friends have missed the boat entirely; they should be cheering Beyonce’s heroic middle finger musical salute to the president and now her apotheosis as the featured artist at the upcoming sporting event.

  2. toma  •  Jan 31, 2013 @7:38 pm
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    Well then, these liberals are an edgy glory-hogging insincere bunch. My god, I think you’re absolutely right.

  3. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Feb 1, 2013 @3:47 am
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    The latest from Mrs. Beyonce-Z:

    Beyonce: ‘I will absolutely be singing live’ at Super Bowl

    In case you were wondering whether Beyonce can sing the national anthem, the answer is a defiant yes.

    The singer took the stage at a Super Bowl news conference on Thursday in New Orleans and asked those in attendance to please rise. With a giant flag waving on a video screen behind her, Beyonce launched into an impassioned a capella version of “The Star Spangled Banner.” When she finished, she asked simply, “Any questions?”

    I can only interpret her statement as an additional slam to the president; she obviously could have sung live at the inauguration, but chose not to.. It also raises serious questions about the gullibility and the lacuna of discriminative intelligence of Mrs. Altouse and her minions. Evidently the rumor about Mr. Bob Dylan was not true! It is such a stupid goddam idea in the first place that it makes me suspect that, just as Beyonce appears to secretly dislike the president, Mrs. Althouse may be a secret liberal troll, cheekily providing us a giggle at the expense of her dull-witted commenters by egging them on with the stupidest semi-plausible crap that she can proffer to her fans without tipping them off that she is making fun of them. She even married a gentleman whom she met as a commenter on her blog, perhaps to amuse herself in the same way, which I respect as a sign of real commitment to her craft.

  4. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Feb 1, 2013 @3:51 am
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    I beg forgiveness for failing to close the italics after Beyonce-Z said “Any questions”, and humbly petition the Proprietor to repair the damage to salvage my reputation.

  5. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Feb 1, 2013 @3:54 am
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    Mirabile dictu! The italics tragedy was fixed as soon as I posted my request for succor. I m forever in your debt.

  6. toma  •  Feb 1, 2013 @4:03 am
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    No problemo –

    I agree, she’s screwing the president and playing to the crowds. I expect her to blurt “FUCK OBAMA!” at the Super Bowl which will probably make her more popular than the MacDonald’s Big Mac, maybe forever.

    But Althouse liberal? You might be reaching there. If you’re a nasty troll and a gawdawful writer looking to wangle a spineless husband out of your self-serving scams, how liberal can you be? Calling Arianna Huffington, she’s around here somewhere.

  7. Rev. Howard Furst  •  Feb 1, 2013 @5:01 am
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    One can at least admire her display of commitment, wherever Mrs. Althouse’s true sentiments may lie, not unlike a suicide bomber.