Pastor stiffs lame waitress who is not Jesus Christ

St. Louis pastor gets an Applebee’s bill for $34.93. But she stiffs the waitress for the mandatory 18% tip. She leaves a message on the receipt: ‘I give God 10% why do you get 18[?]’ The fuck-you makes its way onto the internet, then a waitress loses her job, and so the pastor? Poor dear:

. . Alois Bell said that the online firestorm created by the receipt has left her stunned. “My heart is really broken,” said the 37-year-old Bell. “I’ve brought embarrassment to my church and ministry.”

This is some sort of apology says the Smoking Gun. No, it’s only the double barrel of pathos and bathos we get from self-serving tools. An apology would have been sincerely directed at the waitress who now needs another crap $3.50/hr job. Alois is frankly above something so decent.

How do I know? Because Alois doesn’t pay God fuck what. She pays herself. It’s her own ministry. That’s no different from your funding an environmentalist start-up and swearing the pine trees take 10% of everything. Or building an art studio and swearing the muses own all your bank accounts. For this same sort of person to try to pinch, say, the gas company because she finds their whole business trivial, that’s assholery.

And if Alois is so certain that most human labor is competing for what Jesus-literally-herself deserves, then she can lock herself in her home. She can rot her lofted life away rightly in her stinking holy chaise. If you’re too good to take the world as it is, feel free to leave it alone. Please.