Red faces, hissing and hot tears. An all-out slap fight has broken out behind the scenes of our greatest reality show, America’s Top Model Citizen. Brent Bozell unnghs one at Karl Rove:
“. . he’s shamelessly calling this entity the “Conservative Victory Project.” Yes, and I could call myself Ray Lewis, but it doesn’t make it so.”
What? You whore. Karl Rove’s bestest friend slurps his hand and lames it across Brent Bozell’s face:
“Bozell is a hater and he also has a long sordid history hating Karl Rove. He has weird personal axes to grind . . “
The? You slut. (Incidentally Brent Bozell is a hater. A twenty-four hour whine. Behind his orangutan beard of ginger and pinprick eyes of Van Cleef lie sad deserted spaces where brains should dwell. Echoing throughout the spaces, shrieks of animus. On Barack Obama, U.S. President: “. . that he looked like a skinny, ghetto crackhead? Which, by the way, you might want to say that Barack Obama does.” Ellen Degeneres, TV lesbian: “There’s this sense almost of horror … there are some elements in Hollywood who are bent, come hell or high water, on thrusting garbage down the throats of children.” And there is all, in toto, what Brent Bozell has ever done with his life.)
And this is where it gets good. Two dozen mewling meeping denizens of Real American Country Day Care overran the internecine weeping. Why? Because? Get a load of this: Because it turns out L. Brent Bozell is really Martha Washington:
Ronald Reagan often saluted the contributions of the Bozell and Buckley families to the cause of American conservatism.
. . The sheer audacity of political consultants maligning a beloved and critically important player in American history is simply a bridge too far.
Certainly. Remember when Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation? I believe it was the historic American pundit Brent Bozell who took to Fox News, Dixie:
“Sheer audacity! It wouldn’t be long before the yankees were calling for Jeff Davis’ hide if he’d turned loose their livestock. I declare. By the way, you might wanna say the President looks like a whisky-stinkin’ nigger, which he does.”
Such is greatness.