You want me to tell you what to do, yes you do

One of the features of conservatism is its intellectual flexibility. The world may call something ‘truth’ or ‘history’ or ‘math’ but this does not prevent a conservative from mangling it to his will. In fact, the more clever a wingnut is, the more driven he will be to turn the world inside out.

These crazy arguments usually appear in educational form. Did You Know The KKK Doesn’t Actually Hate Anybody? It’s true. They’re just proud to be white. Cross burning is a small part of their rich cultural tradition. If this stops you from sticking it to the Nubian princess next door, that’s your problem.

Ann Coulter is great at this game. Did You Know Democrats Are America’s Biggest Racists? It’s true. They marched for civil rights so they could make faces at the Negroes. OTOH Republicans will wrap a bro’ up in a soul shake quicker than you can say ‘RONALD REAGAN.’ Lord knows why Mitt Romney polled 94% fewer blacks than Barack Obama, famous racist.

Now this:

Many today, who would quickly proclaim there is an absolute, two-way, impregnable wall between church and state, somehow also assert that for some reason it stops there, and this same impregnable, two-way wall is considered anathema when it comes to other freedoms mentioned in the same amendment. In other words, there is no “separation of speech and state,” no “separation of press and state,” and no “separation of public protests and state.”

You’re saying ‘huh?’ The State can’t tell the press what to do, so this is insane. But it gets crazier, man:

Can you imagine someone seriously arguing the government cannot interfere with a free press, while at the same time advocating that neither can the press use its influence to affect matters of state? That would be a violation of the “separation of press and state.”

Oh. I get it. The government should have nothing to do with religion, but religion should have everything to do with government. The restraint should be a one-way deal, like those pig valves in your heart. Only the government should deserve a constitutional cornholing. We should expect this from the right Rev. Mark H. Creech, fascist godbother.

Nothing in the First Amendment was ever meant to suggest our nation’s Founders were trying to protect the state from the church, the government from the press, etc. The purpose of the first ten amendments to the Constitution was to create a one-way wall to protect the citizenry from the government, not the other way around. They were setting up a barrier to safeguard the public from abuses of power, not to save the state from the church or any other function of the people.

Creech humbly titles his Jeebus dialectic “Freedom from religion leads to no freedom”, and I take that to mean atheist-me is a bit of a gulag.

The Founding Fathers called the world on this bullshit. Their hopes for government were that it would recognize and reinforce the freedoms of its citizens. By contrast, any and all religions they held little hope for. That’s why they put church/state separation right in the very first amendment. They knew what they were doing. It doesn’t take much searching the internets to know that. Thomas Jefferson:

“. . I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their “legislature” should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between church and State.”


“The Christian god is a three headed monster, cruel, vengeful, and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites.”

James Madison:

“. . practical distinction between Religion and Civil Government is essential to the purity of both, and as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States.”


“What influence, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the civil authority; on many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they been the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wish to subvert the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it, needs them not.”

Needs them not. Meaning you, Reverend Creech. And if you want to criticize the government from the pulpit, knock yourself out. Be a man about it and start paying your taxes.


2 thoughts You want me to tell you what to do, yes you do

  1. avatar Rev. Howard Furst says:

    If conservatives would actually read the goddam Bible, they might notice that Jesus and his Disciples were uncompromising Communists. When Karl Marx popularized the phrase “Jeder nach seinen Fähigkeiten, jedem nach seinen Bedürfnissen!”, he no doubt wanted people to think that it was his original idea, which, I suppose, is why he wrote it in German. In English – “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!” we recognize that Marx was paraphrasing the Words of Jehovah Himself:

    Acts 4:32 And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.

    4:33 And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all.

    4:34 Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold,

    4:35 And laid them down at the apostles’ feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.

    The real reason the Communist authorities suppressed Christianity so thoroughly in the Soviet Union was not that Christianity was not compatible with Communist policy and ideals, but, rather, because of fear that Marx would be exposed as a Biblical plagiarist.

    People in Amerika are trained to hate and fear Communism, yet have no goddam clue about it, to the point that they attribute a Commie catchphrase to the Father of our Country, Mr. George Washington himself:

    According to a survey conducted by The American Revolution Center, “more than 50 percent of Americans wrongly attributed the quote “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs” to either George Washington, Thomas Paine, or President Barack Obama,” while noting that “those from the West Coast were slightly more likely to answer the question correctly.”

    I shake my head ruefully. People generally believe any damn thing they hear from two or more sources, an observation exploited rather comprehensively by our Plutocratic Overlords, often via “useful idiots” (another Communist concept adopted by conservative political organizations”, hence Rev. Creech’s nonsense, and of course John McCain’s frequent appearances spouting dunderbluss word salad talking points on Sunday morning TV talk shows like Press the Meat or whatever.

    A further note to conservative members of the studio audience here: the commie pinko policy of sharing of all possessions adopted by Jesus and the original, authentic Christians was enforced by humiliating the violators to death, accomplished simply by reminding them that Jehovah can tell if they have been naughty or nice, as we see in another passage from Acts:

    5:1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

    5:2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

    5:3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

    5:4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

    5:5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

    5:6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

    5:7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

    5:8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

    5:9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

    5:10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

    5:11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.

    Warning: Jackbooted Christian thugs are coming for your property and possessions!!1!

  2. avatar toma says:

    So that’s where ‘Give up the ghost’ comes from. From not being a proper communist and suffering punishment of death. I fear for this capitalistic hotbed of mortal sin. So I’ll be taking your mansion, to save your life, you can thank me right now. I like this Bible.

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