I revere the good and the well-meaning people of our world. The politicians, and their friends. The editorialists, and their Murdochs. The holy, and the holier. How I love and trust them.

And then but they open their mouths and the bummers collect. And it becomes too much for me to bear. *hick* SOB. Oh cruel shallow world, thy yammering is really killing me.

The ranking Republican member on Washington state’s House Transportation Committee thinks that riding bicycles causes more pollution than driving cars . .

In his message, sent to the owner of a bicycle shop, [Ed] Orcutt wrote: “If I am not mistaken, a cyclists [sic] has an increased heart rate and respiration. That means that the act of riding a bike results in greater emissions of carbon dioxide from the rider. Since CO2 is deemed to be a greenhouse gas and a pollutant, bicyclists are actually polluting when they ride.”

Ed can’t figure which takes more energy to move: A 2000 pound car or a 160 pound person. One produces about 10 times the CO2 of the other, perhaps you could hazard a guess.

Think about it. A bi-sexual marriage would require an absolute minimum of four people . . You couldn’t get by with the same heterosexual partner for both A and B since that would mean Partner C wasn’t really a bi-sexual, but a polygamous heterosexual.

. . But here’s where the real confusion comes in. Suppose (and this seems more likely than not), that Carla and Dorothy don’t love each other (really, what are the odds that they would, since they were picked by Albert and Bob, not each other?), You can’t force them to accept each other as a marriage partner . . So to be fair to Carla and Dorothy (and avoid a nasty anti-discrimination lawsuit), you’d have to let each o them choose their own male bisexual partner. So therefore we need to add Partners E and F. We’re now up to six people in the marriage.

Minister Scott Lively explains the inevitable horrors of bisexuals in love. Reminiscent of the difficulties Scott faces when he dons a peacoat, hat and glasses and slinks into Madame Tunguska’s House of Pain. Where’s a bad li’l boy to begin?

[Lech] Walesa said in a television interview on Friday that he believes gays have no right to sit on the front benches in Parliament and, if represented at all, should sit in the back, “and even behind a wall.”

“They have to know that they are a minority and must adjust to smaller things. And not rise to the greatest heights, the greatest hours, the greatest provocations, spoiling things for the others and taking (what they want) from the majority,” he told the private broadcaster TVN during a discussion of gay rights. “I don’t agree to this and I will never agree to it.”

A 69 year-old rabid Commie-hater a gay-bashing bigot? What!?

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of debt, I fear no bankruptcy, for Obama is my shepherd. He prepareth a table of food stamps before me, and maketh me lie down beside waters He hath cleansed and seas He hath made recede, even though the bad Republicans wisheth the earth to be burnt unto a cinder . .

If I asked you where this bit of hee-haw came from, what would you guess? FunnyorJesus.net? No, it’s an editorial from Malk Helprin of the Wall Street Journal.

But arithmetic notwithstanding, I will dwell in the house of Obama all the days of my life. (Why not four terms, and what about Michelle? For the Constitution liveth.) And, the earth having been purified, surely it will be good when—and where do I apply for—government assistance will be the only thing left.

Now you’ve seen pretty much the whole thing, first and last paragraphs. Breibart.com still has enough pride to avoid being this childish, but it’s all of Moby Dick to Rupert Murdoch. Speaking of elusive whales:

Britain’s most senior Roman Catholic cleric, Cardinal Keith O’Brien, acknowledged Sunday that he had been guilty of sexual misconduct, a week after he announced his resignation and said he would not attend the conclave to choose the next pope. The moves followed revelations that three current and one former priest had accused him of inappropriate sexual contact dating back decades . .

“I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there have been times that my sexual conduct has fallen below the standards expected of me as a priest, archbishop and cardinal,” Cardinal O’Brien, 74, said in a statement.

We just bagged ourselves a Cardinal. Perverts don’t come much bigger than that. Well, there’s still a bigger one out there, but he just retired with his personal secretary ‘Gorgeous Georg’ in tow. So at least it’s consensual.