Between about 8 o’clock last night and about 7:30 this morning I received at least 73 emergency texts to my Metro PCS phone. I know the exact number because the inbox holds 73 texts. And every one of them was the same: Message cannot be displayed.
Not that this mysterious emergency phone missive is a new thing. I’ve gotten a few plaintive cries from Planet Zét§öþ° before. Sometimes 2 or 3 in a day, but only in the last couple months. I have no idea what any of it is supposed to mean, or why they need to talk to me in hyperthagonal mobius arrays. But to be sent as many as 100 of them overnight is quite odd, I thought. Perhaps they’re under attack. I went on with my day, but of course I kept getting more: Message cannot be displayed.
I finally gave up and called Metro PCS. As you know, you must utterly give up all hope to call Metro PCS. After getting ahold of an Indian call center, with barely tolerable agents who kept telling me it was the commercial messaging system, or the emergency alert system, they assured me they themselves had now turned off those functions and the problem was solved (…Metro PCS is the only business that texts me, and I’ve never gotten any emergency weather alerts, ever. Whenever I pointed this out the line went quiet. Then they returned to the script.). Since accepting these answers, and thanking them for all their help, I’ve gotten about 15 more messages. Which means the two rude agents who immediately hung up on me ended up with the same batting average as everyone else, including yours truly…zero.
Anyhoo. Just for fun, I decided to check the Amber Alert system online – and whaddyaknow. California’s very first system-wide cell phone alert went out last evening. By my estimates, I have now received
169 171 173 178 Amber Alerts (and counting). This critical information, so important and perhaps life-saving that it needs to be sent every couple of minutes for hours on end, amounts to . . Message cannot be displayed. So I’m happy to have played my little part in the saving of whatever poor little girl or boy got recently abducted and, hopefully, returned. At least that’s what I’m assuming, though I’d be reassured to know all my friends on Zét§öþ° are currently safe and sound.