Where Ariel Castro, porn and the Catholic Church collide

I was going to make glib work of the triple-X bewailing to be found here, by way of Amanda Marcotte, but it requires some sober attention. The Most Reverend James D. Conley, Bishop of Lincoln, Nebraska, is capable of writing some seriously twisted stuff.

Ariel Castro is obviously sick, obviously broken, obviously enslaved by the forces of chaos and evil in a way that few of us have ever witnessed.

Here comes Columbo, our celibate with a hunch, to stumble over the murder weapon.

Last week, he was sentenced to serve more than one thousand years. But despite the depths of his depravity, when Castro stood shackled in a Cleveland courtroom, he confessed a common American problem. “I believe I am addicted to porn,” he said, “to the point where I am impulsive, and I just don’t realize that what I am doing is wrong.”

That paragraph is a doozy. It’s hard to believe, friends, but while Ariel Castro kept teenagers chained upstairs in his house, he was addicted to porn. Sound of one hand clapping. I take this as a cue to spit my Mr. Pibb on the monitor. *SPLORT*…I’ve seen that shit! Just like everybody else, Castro’s got himself “a common American problem.” Or like some guy who beats and rapes women, I’m the one who has a problem. Nothing more vexing than the routine cleaning of the cages on the second floor, I hope.

Pornographic addiction is powerful, destructive, and all too typical. Ariel Castro’s addiction is no excuse for his actions, but it points to a deep and sobering reality: Free, anonymous, and ubiquitous access to pornography is quietly transforming American men and American culture . . It is increasingly unreasonable to argue that pornography use is ever harmless or victimless.

His Excellency provides whimsical evidence for this charge. One, a National Review article that references the august American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Two, the charge that there are undeniable correlations — rapists and porn, jerks and porn — that are variably correlated. But if and when you ask me, once you’re fool enough to agree that Castro is both totally evil and utterly typical, the ball’s landed in your court. Now you’ve got to take seriously the sentiments of the Cleveland Monster, with the tsk-tsking of a head, or with the right hand a-tremor and making signs of the cross.

“I am a good person, and I hope [people] find it in their hearts to forgive me and do a research on people who have addictions so they can see how their addiction takes over their lives,” he later added.

Empathy is called-for, with these addicts. Imagine, if you will, what it feels like to abduct a terrified defenseless teen. HOT! Back to the dungeon forever with you, little meatbag. There will be workaday beatings, and threats of death, oh yes, and the steady sounds of crying from way back in the dark. HOTTER. Poor guy.

I’m not trying to make excuses,” he said. Mr. Castro said his habit of watching pornography for two to three hours a day stems from what he says was his own sexual abuse as a child.

Oh no. Look what the bastard did. Confessed to being the victim of another, different, “common American problem.” A crime that strikes children, altering their brain structure and function. A problem that the Catholic Church as an institution is more responsible for than any other in history. If we’re to take His Most Reverend any more seriously than Ariel Castro, self-aware subhuman, He might consider that there are far more devastating causes of dysfunction and violence than pornography. One would hope.

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