Pity the humble politician, adrift in our chaotic world

If ‘The Surge’ in Iraq had gone a little less (cough) gloriously, or if Lehman Brothers had shit the bed a few months after September 2008, this man could be your president today.

Fox News host Mike Huckabee on Saturday warned that a California girl who was declared brain dead after tonsil surgery last month could lead to situations like Nazi death camps and forced abortions in China if the hospital took her off life support.

It’s worthwhile to note that there are about 6,000 hospitals in America. You have choices.

The former Arkansas governor and ordained pastor began his Fox News show by admitting that he did not have the medical experience necessary to understand 13-year-old Jahi McMath’s condition but he encouraged her family to fight against any attempts to remove her from life support even though doctors said she technically “died several weeks ago.”

I have to do it: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me…

“Every life has value and worth,” Huckabee told his viewers on Saturday. “There is no such person who is disposable, one whose life has been deemed by others to be less than others and therefore expendable, I can’t share that.”

Are patients lives ‘disposable’ because doctors are homicidal, Mike? Are they terrifyingly lazy? Horribly thrill-seeking? Or are we all extras in the sequel to Coma? How did you figure it all out? In any case, the Gov thinks doctors are the sorts of butchers that Charlie Manson might take a few pointers from. But there’s Obamacare bashing to be done:

“People from all over the world come here for health care,” he observed. “Why? Because we have an incredibly good health care system.”

And of course the doctors are all angels. Gawd bless ’em. More ranting? Sure:

“It’s also that culture that allowed the Nazis to to hideously justify the savage slaughter of millions of Jews, disabled people, old people and those with mental illness,” Huckabee said. “Let’s hope and pray that the courts continue to do what every court should do, respect parents over government, family over hospitals and, above all, protect Jahi from them all.”

I suppose it’s possible that Second-to-McCain has never heard of the term “brain dead.” He hasn’t any clue what it might mean. To his ears it’s a jazzy colloquialism, like the patter he heard Ken Burns’ PBS hipsters bandy about after partaking of their urban cigarettes. Bray-in what? Dead, was it? If that don’t beat all. Mother, stop this crazy thing.

I doubt I could ever recall all the poor TV dramas I’ve seen where one character or another ends up “brain dead.” It’s an older and more personally relevant concept than “bandwidth” or “Facebook.” It even occupied an entire episode of Kramer’s life. And, yet, there are people who pretend they don’t know what it is.