It’s harder to like women than to speak for them

It blows my mind. Every one of these guys believes he can explain right-wing sexual politics in a way where it finally makes sense to women. The logic of it is pretty obvious, they think. Every one of them is wrong. Rep. Steve Pearce, R-NM:

“The wife is to voluntarily submit, just as the husband is to lovingly lead and sacrifice,” Pearce wrote. “The husband’s part is to show up during the times of deep stress, take the leadership role and be accountable for the outcome, blaming no one else.”

You’re thinking that’s the same old garbage. But here comes the hook:

“The wife’s submission is not a matter of superior versus inferior; rather, it is self-imposed as a matter of obedience to the Lord and of love for her husband.”

Women will read this and wonder until the idea dawns on them: Submit is an intransitive verb? Well that explains everything, now we get it. What exactly is to be gained in submitting to your husband? Why not just choose to be equal? I’d love to see Pearce answer that, to see how he figures the female mind. Shouldn’t be too difficult, he’s been speaking for women all along. And if the Republican path to empowerment is a byzantine one at least it’s terribly sincere. State Senator Dick Black (R-VA):

Mother Jones pointed out that Black defended spousal rape, saying he “did not know how on earth you could validly get a conviction of a husband-wife rape, when they’re living together, sleeping in the same bed, she’s in a nightie, and so forth, there’s no injury, there’s no separation or anything.” After that comment, Black only clarified he was not “taking a position for or against marital rape.”

The senator reminds women they’re irresistible when they get in their velvet teddies, or in whatever they wear to bed, in any place fraught with “no separation.” AKA ‘their homes.’ What jury would convict a man who ended up a little overheated at the sight of such a thing? You dressed up like that? Don’t let the Democrats tell you this is a crime, it’s a compliment from the justice system. And don’t try marrying any wussies, incidentally, because America needs children. You’re welcome.

Before that, Black — a former military prosecutor — dismissed rape in the military “as predictable as human nature.” “Think of yourself at 25,” he said. “Wouldn’t you love to have a group of 19-year-old girls under your control, day in, day out?”

The same thing applies after your squad captain assaults you. You’re like a teenage Venus flytrap, and who hasn’t raped one of those? Congratulations. Mike Huckabee:

“…if the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it, let’s take that discussion all across America, because women are far more than Democrats have made them to be.”

If this doesn’t liberate those poor women addicted to The Pill. They’ve been dragging their sore and post-orgasmic selves out of the government-run RiteAids and Walgreens of America, crushed by the realization that they enjoy having sex. Dear lord.

Uncle Mike is here to say: These women can be “far more than Democrats have made them to be” (…sluts). What the hell has Uncle Sugar ever wanted from you anyway? To get you naked with his science pills. Don’t let him do it! Instead, dump every one of your many children onto his Social Security rolls and cry aloud: ‘Take that Joseph Stalin! You can’t tell me not to get pregnant!’

“The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender,” Huckabee said.

Because that’s the game the Democrats have been playing: You’re A Victim. The bad men beat you up, or they boss you around, or they rape you in your bed and here comes Big Government to coddle you with abortions, indictments and counseling. Remind Uncle Sam that this is just the American way of having a little fun. Tell him, ‘Fuck off pal. I’m a woman.’


3 thoughts It’s harder to like women than to speak for them

  1. avatar Grung_e_Gene says:

    Portmanteau of Uncle Sam and Sugar Daddy aside, the Hucker wasn’t saying these things to convince woman that if they weren’t stupid dumb slutty sluts they’d be Republicans, the Hucker said these things to convince old, stodgy, repressive, sexist bigoted white men (i.e. conservatives) that they and Racist Limpbaugh were right.

  2. avatar toma says:

    Isn’t that pretty much all their politics? Trying to prove they’re right about something when everybody knows they’re wrong. The Trayvon Martin tragedy gave them an opportunity to argue once again that black people are defective, so they did. They’re still doing it. Republicans are 99% gut fear and 1% brains.

  3. avatar Grung_e_Gene says:

    Republicans are made of 1% adrenaline and 99% of wjat’s found in the lower gut.

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