Texas Banana Man, the Rosa Parks of our time

Texas shop owner Derek Poe:

“Rosa Parks didn’t really need to sit where she did.”

Meaning that she could have sat in the back of the bus, the way she did on any other day. But she chose not to because she wanted to make a point.

Harmless banana man

Derek’s employee wanted to make a point too. So he put on a banana suit and loomed over the unsuspecting traffic in the town of Beaumont. But look what The Man did to him. Gave him a citation for soliciting near a roadway. Talk about your travesty.

“What the police have been doing is selective enforcement. It’s a form of harassment, intimidation tactics used by Beaumont PD. They didn’t even know what he did wrong. They were down there, one of the police officer’s going through her phone and her code book trying to find something to pin on him…”

So like Rosa Parks before him, who was only trying to drum up a little business, Banana Man is our hero. And a victim. Did we mention he was carrying a rifle at the time?

Poe, who owns Golden Triangle Tactical, added that the employee wore the banana suit to make himself look less threatening while carrying an AK-47.

“And the banana suit was so he would look less alarming,” he said.

Now it all makes sense.

Poe, an advocate for gun rights and part of the “Liberty Project,” compared owning and carrying a gun to owning pit bulls and walking them in public.

“If I have a problem with pit bulls, I see somebody walking down the road with pit bulls, I don’t call the cops because I’m afraid. And they don’t get their dogs taken away because they’re walking dogs in an alarming manner,” he said. “It should be the same. If somebody pisses himself — wets their pants — every time they see a firearm that’s their problem, maybe they should seek counseling.”

Yes. Maybe it’s time for you to see a psychiatrist. That way when Kumquat Man crawls out of the bushes babbling about ‘liberty’ and waving an assault rifle at your car you can have yourself a little chuckle. Because that’s what sane people do.

UPDATE: …if I’m the President of the United States (ed. note: Hypothetical. See here.) and I get a report of Breadfruit Man, or Apricot Man, waving an AK-47 somewhere in America I’m calling in an airstrike. Then I’m telling the Marines to salt the Earth where he stood. That’s me.