This week’s #5 (and #6) lesson in gun safety

For this week’s fifth lesson in how obviously safe guns are and how clearly responsible gun owners can be we travel to Orange County, Florida. Where we defer to firearms safety officer Ventura Matteo.

A Florida man claims he was showing a friend how to clean a gun when he discharged the weapon and struck a 12-year-old girl in a passing car…

The Orlando Sentinel reported that 60-year-old Ventura Santos Matteo was in his garage on Friday when his gun-safety demonstration went awry.

Matteo accidentally fired the Sig Sauer pistol, which struck a 12-year-old girl in a passing car. The bullet penetrated the door and struck her in the right upper arm. Her younger brother, who was riding in the back seat, was unharmed.

Younger brother was unharmed because, of course, firearms are safe. From this we once again conclude: The more guns you haaa…pardon me? What’s that you say? Really.

Ahem. For this week’s sixth lesson in how obviously safe guns are and how clearly responsible gun owners can be we travel to Orange County, Florida. Where we once again defer to firearms safety officer Ventura Matteo.

“She’s a sweet kid, that’s a damn shame,” said neighbor Sandy Driver.

Police said the girl was in the front seat of the car and as they drove by the neighbor’s house, the bullet pierced the passenger door and lodged in her tricep. She didn’t realize she was shot until arriving home, moments later.

Mateo told police that around the same time he became flustered and fired a second round, hitting himself in the thigh.

It’s a bizarre set of circumstances that has neighbors on the street, scratching their heads.

“It doesn’t make sense to me, it doesn’t add up,” said neighbor Al Becker.

“I would like someone to come around and tell us what’s going on,” said Driver.

I think I can shed some light on the situation for Ms. Driver. There are 310 million people in this country, but there are also more than that many million guns. We now have more guns than we have citizens.

If you have a car, Sandy, then you know how bad some drivers can be. You know very well how many lunatics and whackos there are out on the road. But its still easier to get a gun than a driver’s license in America. You catch my drift?

From this we once again, and again, conclude: The more guns you have, the safer your 12 year-old daughter is.

Share