This week’s #8 lesson in gun safety

For this week’s eighth lesson in how obviously safe guns are and how clearly responsible gun owners can be we travel to Seminole County, Oklahoma. Where we defer to firearms safety officer Tiny Deerslayer.

WEWOKA, Okla. – The life of an 8-year-old boy was claimed Saturday in a tragic accident.

Katie, a Wewoka resident, said, “Everyone is talking about it. Everybody’s mourning about it.”

On Saturday, officials say 8-year-old Lane ***** slipped on ice while hunting.

As he fell, his .22 pistol went off, causing him to shoot himself.

A short time later, Lane died from his injuries.

I have a TV dinner that’s older than this kid. Dear me. And who wrote this dreadful story? You know when it’s time to be careful, friends? After your .22 pistol goes off. That’s when you might have cause to shoot yourself. More and more these days, one is associated with the other.

It happened just north of the town of Wewoka.

While not everyone in town knew Lane, most know of his family.

Undersheriff Chris Conn, with the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office, said, “I know the mother and father, they’re very good people and probably taught him everything he would need to know about safety with the gun.”

Excuse me? Walking on ice carrying a loaded gun with the safety off. If that’s what they taught the poor kid to do, they should be thrown in jail. Then again he’s eight years old. Since when are elementary schools teeming with mature responsible people? I don’t see the Army recruiting them much. Why can’t you folks wait until the boy’s four feet tall before you put a sidearm in his hands and send him out onto the ice? And his father was a pastor? What’s the rush, Reverned? “He loved huntin’!” He might like fast cars too, but you oughta wait a few years before giving him the keys to the Porsche. He’s a little boy. Didn’t anybody notice the size of the casket?

Conn added, “One of the kids said the kid slipped on some ice, everything points to that’s what happened.”

That’s what killed him – “some ice.” It’s a dreadful menace to eight year-olds the world ’round, particularly the ones carrying cocked and loaded psitols. And what were you gonna get him for his ninth birthday, an Uzi? A little bubble gum and a bazooka? God damn, really. From this we once again conclude: The more guns you have, the safer your second grader is.