Five months ago multi-billionaire and conservative activist Sheldon Adelson spoke at Yeshiva University in New York. Asked his opinion on how we should go about negotiating with Iran, he prodded President Obama to try doing things his way:
“You pick up your cell phone and you call somewhere in Nebraska and you say ‘OK, let it go.’ And so there’s an atomic weapon goes over, ballistic missiles in the middle of the desert that doesn’t hurt a soul, maybe a couple of rattlesnakes and scorpions or whatever. And then you say, ‘See? The next one is in the middle of Tehran. So, we mean business. You want to be wiped out?’”
In return for such diplomacy there would be planetary weak-kneed wailing and tunic-tearing over an “unprovoked nuclear attack”, even though it would have been against a shifty-eyed Muslim desert, now poisoned with radioactive waste for a century or so, but, hey…Iran. Right? And because they’re jerks they probably wouldn’t immediately give in to our demands, choosing instead to file a war crimes complaint at the U.N. and The Hague so then we’d have to vaporize Tehran. Because we wouldn’t want to project any weakness, would we? Or be seen as spineless liars heavens forbid.
So I think this Sheldon Adelson, we can trust him. We should let him run the country.
It’s hard to imagine a political spectacle more loathsome than the parade of Republican presidential candidates who spent the last few days bowing and scraping before the mighty bank account of the casino magnate Sheldon Adelson. One by one, they stood at a microphone in Mr. Adelson’s Venetian hotel in Las Vegas and spoke to the Republican Jewish Coalition (also a wholly owned subsidiary of Mr. Adelson), hoping to sound sufficiently pro-Israel and pro-interventionist and philo-Semitic to win a portion of Mr. Adelson’s billions for their campaigns.
Fortunately for Sheldon, the man who donated $100 million to Republicans back in 2012, the GOP’s 2016 presidential candidates are very much willing to be his pal no matter what crazy apocalyptic thing he advocates. Willing even perhaps to run the country on his behalf. Ohio Governor John Kasich:
Kasich sat next to Adelson at lunch, and mentioned him repeatedly – and sometimes in a non-sequiturial fashion – in his speech, occasionally making it seem as if he were talking to an audience of one, while the hundreds of other RJC donors looked on.
“Sheldon and I were kind of talking about his background. I come from a little town outside of Pittsburgh called McKees Rocks – it was very blue collar,” Kasich said, as he launched into his biography. When he discussed the prescription of pain killers, he said Adelson – who once testified that he took as many as 25 medications in a day to manage pain from a neurological condition in 2001 – “is someone who knows about this.”
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker:
Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin brought up his father’s trip to Israel, and said he puts “a menorah candle” next to his Christmas tree. The name of his son, Matthew, actually comes from Hebrew, he pointed out.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie:
Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey also described his trip to Israel, but then did something unthinkable. He referred to the West Bank as the “occupied territories.” A shocked whisper went through the crowd. How dare Mr. Christie implicitly acknowledge that Israel’s presence in the West Bank might be anything less than welcome to the Palestinians? Even before Mr. Christie left the stage, leaders of the group told him he had stumbled, badly.
And sure enough, a few hours later, Mr. Christie apologized directly to Mr. Adelson for his brief attack of truthfulness.
You wonder if the GOP Daddyhammers could possibly be conflicted over offering their unwavering love and loyalty to a powerful man with his own loyalties, perhaps to a foreign country. Then you read this:
“We cannot have a world where our friends are unsure whether we will be with them and our enemies are unsure whether we will be against them,” he said. “In New Jersey no one has to wonder whether I’m for them or I’m against them.”
Says the Governor who royally fucked Fort Lee, New Jersey. So the answer is ‘no.’